How To Kill A Mockingjay
by CaffinH
Summary: Set during Catching Fire. Peeta and Katniss slept together during the victory tour. A month later, Gale rapes Katniss. Katniss then finds out she's pregnant - but who's is it? And how will her pregnancy affect the events of the Quarter Quell? If she is unable to, who will go into the arena in her place? issues with sex, rape, possible character death - Pt1 of 2, COMPLETE
1. Chapter One

I sit on the floor of my bedroom, next to the window. Its raining outside and I sit on my where I can only see the rain hitting the glass, the gray clouds and the tips of the trees in the woods not too far from here. I don't mind the rain much. It makes hunting both better and more awkward. Birds are on the ground, hunting for worms and the loud rain and soft mud mask my footsteps. But most other animals hide in the warmth and the dry and I admit, as much as I love hunting, on those days I wish I could be home in the dry too. Of course, this mostly happened while I was living at the Seam, where even inside it wasn't very warm or dry, and I had to hunt every day whether I wanted to or not. Here, in the victor's village I have the freedom (hah!) – and the money - to stay in late on rainy days instead of getting soaking wet outside – although today I've been too busy to even consider hunting. It irritated me, regardless of the weather. Most days I hunt, rain or shine, mostly to help Gale. My dear 'cousin'.

I'm never sure how to feel about Gale. Ever since that kiss we shared, our brotherly-sisterly relationship had been broken. Well, then again, maybe it never was a brotherly-sisterly relationship for him. As I found out with Peeta last year, I have a tendency to be quite unobservant when it comes to how people are feeling for me.

Every time I think of the kiss I feel wrong. I feel like I really did kiss my cousin – but is that really the way I feel? Do I see Gale as a family member? Or maybe all the pretence for the Captiol, pretending he's my cousin, has rubbed off on me. I hate this. If the Capitol wasn't involved it would be so much easier to understand what I'm feeling.

That's a lie. I sigh, turning my head away from the window and closing my eyes.

"Don't lie to yourself Katniss" I think to myself "You're safe in your mind, even the Capitol don't know what you're thinking"

-yet. I couldn't help but add.

Turning my thoughts back to Gale, I know I was lying to myself when I said that if the Capitol wasn't involved I would know exactly what to do. I don't think I would have let myself fall in love with Gale anyway. I don't want marriage and kids and all that stuff that I'm sure Gale wants. That's one of the main reasons I won't let myself think about Peeta either.

Peeta Mellark. The name sounds like a melody to me and yet whenever I think it all I can hear is Effy Trinket's voice calling his as I stand before my district on that platform. Again I sigh as the image of his sparkling blue eyes and dirty blond hair dance in front of my still closed eyes. I open them quickly, glaring stubbornly down at the floorboards. I don't know what to feel about Peeta either. I don't know if I love him and I don't intend on finding out. What difference would it make? The more I love Peeta, the more danger he's in. President Snow made that clear enough during his visit. What I do know is that Peeta is an amazing person, and I am lucky to have him as a friend – though who knows if he still counts me as a friend after my behaviour the past few months. Every time I see him I'm filled with guilt and grief and memories of that awful place. So admittedly, though I know it's wrong, I try not to see him. I know it's hurting him, but its better he forget about me anyway.

And yet, as I am thinking all this I realise I'm about to put him – and myself – through this all over again. In about 10 minutes actually.

It's time for the Victory tour.

_A/N) I know so far this has very little to do with the main plot of the story, but don't worry I will get into that very soon. Review and let me know if you think it's worth continuing! And in order to avoid any future hatred from Gale fans - I like Gale myself, it just seemed like he would make an interesting villain. also, I apologise for any OOC-ness in the future, I tend to have issues with that._

_Thanks for reading, hope you continue! _


	2. Chapter Two

As the train pulled into District Four's station, I couldn't help but be amazed. It was beautiful.

District 4 was on the edge of Panem and the sea surrounded it, from the East to the West, leaving only the southern mountains hiding the view of the relatively close Capitol which, if the rumours were true, could be seen from the top of those mountains. There district appeared to be quite small at first until the tour began and I saw that many of the houses were built seemingly on the ocean. Peeta pointed out to me the wooden streets that had been built over the sea, like a web of bridges with buildings on them. Pier's, he called them. I looked at him, properly for the first time in a long time, and saw how the sea was reflected in his eyes, how they both sparkled equally to the sunlight and I smiled. It was so easy to forget everything here.

Of course, thinking of how much I had to forget, I remembered everything. Peeta turns and frowns at me as my mystified half-run turns into a sombre death walk and I try and smile and he squeezes my hand. Every time I close my eyes all I can think of is that man being shot. The man who sang Rue's song in District 11. I miss Rue and missing her makes me miss Prim, so much. I look up at Peeta and see his sad but reassuring smile on his lips and I know he understands. But then I make the mistake of blinking and the image of that poor man's brains being blown out seems to punch me from the inside and I wince.

I do feel a bubble of happiness through the horror when I see how happy Peeta is in this district. His worried grimace is replaced by a natural, unthinking smile as he gazes across the landscape. He looks hard, his forehead furrowing as he concentrates hard on the scene and I realise he's trying to imprint the image into his mind so that he can paint them later. His paintings truly are beautiful.

I'm so glad we're friends again. Since our chat when the train broke down, its been a lot more relaxed. And the past three nights he's slept in my bed which is good. It means I don't have nightmares which means I sleep which means I don't have to take those stupid pills which don't help me sleep, they just trap me in my nightmares. But I don't have that problem now. I'm safe in Peeta's arms. And though I feel guilty for using him like this, I know he's using me in the same way so it works out for the both of us.

All too soon we're on the stage of district 4's justice building. We smile and wave and thank the families of the tributes who died in the games while at the same time avoiding looking into their accusing eyes. At lunch, Effy casually tells us that the train is staying here for a while for maintenance to find out the underlining explanation of why exactly we broke down earlier in the journey. Peeta takes my hand and squeezes it under the table before excusing himself. As he walks away I feel the small piece of paper he has hidden in the palm of my hand. I wait for a while and then excuse myself too. As soon as I'm through the sliding doors I open the paper and see that Peeta has drawn me a small picture of the beach. I smile and stash the drawing away, understanding immediately.

Escaping the train isn't hard. It seems like only seconds before I'm at the beach in all its glory. Like I said, this district isn't very big when it comes to the land part of it, so it isn't hard to find the beach at all – we passed it earlier on the way to the ceremony. I'm surprised to see that I beat Peeta here, considering he had a good 10 minute head start on me and I wonder if he thought I was refusing to meet him.

Though the thought fills me briefly with sadness which surprises me, I ignore it and take off my shoes and my dress. For a brief amount of time, on this sunny afternoon I will be happy. It might be the last time, if Snow doesn't think I did an adequate job. I hope he won't hurt mother, Prim and Gale. I hope he won't hurt Peeta.

"Shut up Katniss" I growl at myself, stubbornly and then I run. The wind assaults my bad thoughts light the first wave of the battle and then I'm in the sea and the smooth but surprisingly aggressive waves shock me so much all my thoughts are just...gone. There's no other way to explain it.

I shiver a little and almost fall as a wave hits me. This is not what I am used too. My father taught me to swim in the sun-warmed, placid lake in the forest where as this water is cold and unforgiving and yet, I'm enjoying it. For a brief moment I consider swimming out, just swimming away from all this. I doubt I'd survive of course, I'm not the best swimmer even if there was hope of finding something – anything else beyond the horizon, but maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Then I slip on a rock and fully emerge myself in the icy water for the first time. Standing quickly, coughing and spluttering, I shriek with cold and spit out some of the salty – disgusting – water. I'm quickly aware of someone laughing and I turn to see Peeta, doubled over on the beach.

"What." I demand, storming – or splashing over to him. "Whats so funny."

It takes him a while but eventually he recovers enough to string a few syllables together.

"You...shrieked..." He giggled, wiping tears from his eyes "You fell and you...shrieked...I've never...heard you do that...before" he clutches his stomach, still laughing.

"I did no such thing!" I deny, even though I can feel the tips of my ears burning which is sure to mean I'm blushing. "I just...gasped. Thats all. The water was cold." I look away.

"Lier" Peeta giggles

I turn to glare at him but his laugh is contagious...not in the good way people usually mean, but like a desease that I personally am too proud to catch. So I decide on revenge.

"Well, you know Peeta..." I say slowly, a smile forming with every syllable. Peeta stops laughing and backs away. He knows that smile. "They do say revenge is a dish best served cold" and I push him in the sea.

He sits up coughing and spluttering. He looks so surprised that I start laughing too, even harder than he was five minutes ago. He stares at me and the pure astonishment on his face makes my stomach weak with laughter as I kneel on the floor.

"Oh yeah?" He stands up and kicks some water in my direction. I gasp as the water hits me and glare. This means war, and he knows it. I take a moment to remember he can't swim – as far as I know no one else in district 12 can swim – and then I dive at him.

Twenty minutes or so later we both lay on the beach, soaked to the bone, gasping for air in between splutters of salty water landing on our tongues and spurts of giggles. I rest my head on his shoulder and he rests his on my head. The wind washes over us and I shiver a little in my wet clothes. Peeta looks at me and tells me to wait. He comes back in under a minute with two towels.

"Ahh, so thats why you were so long" I grin, taking the towel gratefully "I like the way you think, Peeta Mellark" (and then hide my flinch as I recall his name ringing through the courtyard of the district 12 justice building).

"Well, Katniss Everdeen" Peeta grins (This doesn't shock me like his name did, It was never me who was summoned to the stage like a dog to his deathbed after all, it was Prim's) "I also snuck out some bread..." I laugh as he reaches in his pocket for what looks like soggy paper "...but I wasn't expecting to be pushed into the sea, so it's a little...uneatable by now."

"Well, thanks anyway" I smile "It was a nice thought."

Peeta smiles back at me and turns to watch the sun setting. I look too and he's right. The colour is amazing. I can see why he likes it so much.

I tell him so, and he looks at me in shock.

"What?" I ask, instantly paranoid. Did I say something wrong, I wonder.

"You remembered." Peeta says softly

"Well...yes" I reply, frowning "You only told me a few days ago."

"I know" Peeta replies "But...I just didn't think you remembered things about me."

"Of course I do, Peeta" I say, shocked that he thought that. Didn't he realise that I remembered almost everything? That his eyes turned from they're brilliant blue to a strange shade of gray when his name was called. That the day he threw the bread the rain made his eyes sparkle more than the sun ever did. That every time I think of the Cornucopia from the arena I recall that it was the same golden shade as his hair.

Peeta suddenly hugs me and I blush again. I didn't realise I'd said it out loud. And then suddenly, he's kissing me. And for the first time ever, I let myself feel it.

It's amazing. We've had seemingly a million kisses and each one for a camera somewhere in our lives, whether hand held or in the eyes of civilians, reporting back to president Snow. Twice I've kissed him and it's made me burn on the inside and I always end up wanting more. But now, I truly do become the Girl on Fire. I kiss Peeta back and as we lay back in the towels, I pull off his shirt. I'm sure I will regret this, but I need it and so does he. Not the physical side, not the emotional side to a point, but to just be close to someone, to feel for the first time since the games – the first time in forever it seems.

I am the Girl on Fire and as Peeta and I melt together I feel nothing but happiness.

A/N Sorry if it's a bit OOC! I hope you guys liked, so again please review!  
Also, I'm always interested in any idea's people have for the future of the fic, so if you have any idea's do let me know! Thanks to everyone who reviewed last week, It made my day to wake up expecting very little interest and to get such nice and encouraging reviews!

Thanks again!

Caffin 3


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

The victory tour is finished and much has changed since that day on the beach where Peeta and I...well, there isn't a word for what we did. It was more than sex, but it wasn't 'making love'. I suppose it was comforting, forgetting and it worked. We haven't done it since, but we seem to be behaving very much like a couple now. My mother notices and seems quite contrasted – sometimes sighing in disapproval when I announce I am going to see him and sometimes I catch her smiling proudly at the two of us. Prim of course notices and asks me endless questions to which I mostly reply that I'm not sure. Which is very true, I'm not sure.

We haven't even kissed since that night. We still slept together every night on the train through the remaining districs, the capitol and back to district 12. Though one night admittedly I felt a little upset by the fact that he hadn't asked me again – I wondered if I was bad at it, if maybe even that was all he had wanted from me in the first place. I moped for a while and he continued to ask me what was wrong over and over again until eventually I just asked him and he blushed and coughed, scratching the back of his head like he does when he's embarrassed or nervous and quietly told me that he didn't have any more protection.

I blush, thinking of the memory of him producing the condom on the beach. I was admittedly a little confused to as why he had it – firstly they could be quite expensive and difficult to purchase which was why there was such a large number of children in the districts and not as many in the capitol (or maybe in the capitol they didn't have sex because by the time they had removed all of they're heavy and uncomfortable clothing they must be exhausted, I giggle to myself). Secondly why did he have it? Surely he hadn't planned this? Peeta had blushed and told me that his father had given it to him not long after they had returned from the games.

"After seeing the way you and Katniss...behaved" he had said awkwardly "I started saving. I'd rather you not use this – I know you know that I don't think you should be taking part in any such behaviour until you're married and ready to have children anyway, but it seemed like an appropriate welcome back gift, so to speak. With the money you're receiving from the capitol now though I'm sure you can purchase your own if needed." Mr Mellark had winked. Or at least that's the way Peeta had told the story later.

I'm snapped out of my fantasy by my mother coming into my room to get me. It's been an exhausting few days in all honestly. What with wedding dresses and stressing over the increasing number of peacekeepers and they're changed methods of enforcement, with my suggestions of an uprising being discussed and shot down by different people and then with meeting Bonnie and Twill and considering that district thirteen may still be functioning? Not to mention almost killing myself falling out of a tree in attempt to get back into district 12. My mother had sent me to bed to rest before watching my wedding dresses on the mandatory capitol television channel but of course thinking about Peeta and about our new...I don't know, are we in a relationship now? – I didn't exactly rest much.

My train of thought doesn't really change much in all honesty as I walk downstairs and sit with my family in front of the television. I barely notice whats on the tv as my wedding dresses are publicised to the capitol and they boo and cheer they're favourites and the ones they hate. Then I recall the amount of work Cinna put into those dresses and I force myself to focus. In all honestly I hate them all. They're all so...sparkly. Some are covered in sequins; some with lace and frills and some with pearls...if I could have chosen it would have been something very simple and plain. Though admittedly I do quite like pearls, in small quantities of course. Naturally however the capitols fashion sense does not allow decoration in small quantity.

I am about to turn the television off when Ceaser Flickerman announces that we are to remain where we are due to another mandatory announcement regarding the third Quarter Quell and the 75th hunger games. I frown in confusion as Prim voices my questions and asks what they could possibly have to announce as the Games aren't due for a few months yet.

"It must be the reading of the card" My mother replies, eyes fixed on the television. I frown at her and wonder what's wrong but I don't ask in front of Prim.

President Snow takes his place on our televisions as the anthem of Panem plays. He is followed by a young boy with a small wooden box. I focus on the boy as President Snow rambles about the hunger games and why they're good for the country of Panem and other such reasons that we have all heard a hundred times. He seems calm and a little excited in all honestly. I wish I could be him, where excitement is brought by walking on stage with our country's president rather than because we're able to have more than a piece of bread at dinner. He doesn't need to be frightened by Snow, but then again it is unlikely that Snow will ever shake his head at that boy in the way he did to me in the capitol. I shudder.

"I have a friend who went that year." My mother says quietly. I shake my thoughts away and realise she's talking about the 50th Hunger Games, the 2nd Quarter Quell where they sent twice as many tributes. "Maysilee Donner. Her parents owned a sweetshop. They gave me her songbird afterward...a canary." I am suddenly overwhelmed by the relevance of birds in our lives – Prim is our little duck, my mothers murdered friend's canary and my friend Rue's mockingjay.

"And now we honour our third quarter quell." President Snow announces and I draw my attention back to the screen as the boy I so envy steps forward, opening the lid to the box and presenting its contents to the President. Inside are neatly arranged rows of yellowing envelopes – the person who began the Hunger Games had planned for years in advance. President Snow carefully selects the one marked clearly with the number 75, and pulls a small piece of paper from it.

"On the seventy-fifth anniversary" He reads without hesitation "as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of tributes"

My mind is confused as my mother gives a small shriek and Prim buries her face in a pillow. Then I understand.

Existing pool of tributes – the victors who are still alive. And as there are only two male tributes still alive in District 12 and one female – me – this can only mean one thing.

I'm going back into the Games.

A/N  
Hi guys! Sorry for the delay, I had exams and didn't have the time to write this chapter because I was actually planning on this chapter to hold the contents of the next chapter until I realised I still had a few things to clear up. I hope you guys enjoyed this and I apologise for the repetition of the book  
don't forget to comment


	4. WARNING! Chapter Four

**A/N WARNING: this is the rape scene and it is quite descriptive so I apologise in advance if I offend or upset anyone and if this is likely to upset you and you'd rather not read, there's a condensed version available in the author's note at the bottom.**

Chapter Four

Oh No.

I'm going back into the arena.

Which means...either Peeta or Hamish is going back in with me. And if I know Peeta he's going to let it be Haymitch about as much as I would let Prim go in.

I look around and am surprised to find that I am no longer with my mother and Prim in our living room but in the cellar of one of the houses in the Victors Village, sitting under a dust sheet. My hand is bleeding and I am breathing heavily. I vaguely recall running from the house even before my mind had processed what had been said and breaking through one of the glass panes on the front door of a random house. So that's why my hand is bleeding. I still can't feel it.

"As a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the capitol..." Snow's voice rings in my ears. I see him pulling out the yellowing envelope and I wonder if it can possibly be coincidence? That this one small sheet of paper, written almost a hundred years ago has the power to give Snow everything he wants and needs. Snows face fills my mind as he reads the sheet of paper, a malicious grin on his red lips though I can't tell if the grin is a product of memory or imagination.

I don't know what to do. I need to go...not talk to someone. Rather, just be around someone. And I know just the person – Haymitch. I don't even consider that it may be Haymitch I have to fight in the arena – I just know that Peeta's not going to let that happen. He'll volunteer, to protect me. Well this time I need to protect him.

I clamber out from under the dust sheet and climb up the stairs. This house is not furnished – the capitol don't trust the people from our district (or any other probably) to not steal the furniture in place for future victors – but it is carpeted and painted. Even empty and unoccupied it looks better than every house in the Seam, and probably some of the houses in the wealthier area of the district. Each house is designed the same – a small living room to the right of the front door, a dining area to the left with stairs right in front and the doorway into the kitchen. Upstairs there is a bathroom and three bedrooms. All the carpets are cream, a waste in our district as the coal dust coats everything in a permanent shade of something darker. I shake my head clear of silly thoughts of cream carpets and white painted walls and I open the broken front door, jumping as a figure walking outside turns and sees me.

"Katniss?" The figure calls "Is that you?"

I give a sigh of relief as I realise its Gale. I can't take talking with Peeta right now.

Gale, my fake cousin, though in actual fact he is more like a brother. He'll protect me. I start to walk outside but he pushes me back into the house.

"Are you mad Katniss?" He asks his tone slightly angry "it's raining and you're already soaked to the bone."

I hadn't even noticed. Must have happened running over here. I shrug in reply.

"Are you okay Catnip?" Gale sighs, wiping a strand of damp hair from my face. I shrug again. I can't say yes, because I'm not okay. But I don't want to say no. I don't want to admit that I'm not.

Gale crushes me in a hug and though it does make me feel a little better I feel strangely uncomfortable in the arms of someone who is not my lover. I just want Peeta. I pull away.

"Katniss?" Gale frowns.

"I'm fine Gale" I reply, twisting my lips into a smile. Or a grimace. I can't really tell. "I just want to get home." It's true. Prim and my mother must be worried about me.

"Stay here." Gale asks. Well, he doesn't really ask, he more demands. I shake my head and move past him towards the door, but in my current state he is quicker than me and he quickly shuts it, blocking my way.

"Gale, let me out." I tell him, glaring. I don't understand.

"Why should I?" Gale snaps at me and I jump in shock. "Why should I? All you're going to do is just run back to your little baker's son."

"What?" I gasp "Gale, no..."

"Shut up" Gale cuts across me, and to my surprise I do. Alarm bells are ringing in my mind telling me that I'm in danger, but I can't be. Not from Gale, my Gale, my best friend. "You're going to go running over to him aren't you, into his arms, maybe even into his bed..." He snorts and I blush. Unfortunately this is the moment he chooses to look at me and in the small amount of light coming from outside he notices. His fists clench.

"You've done it haven't you?" Gale says, dangerously quietly. I back away slowly, though there is no where I can go. Then I remember the kitchen. The back door. "You've had sex with him haven't you, you dirty slut!" He yells and punches the wall beside him. This is when my instincts tell me to run and I turn and bolt towards the kitchen door.

I've barely reached it before he is behind me. He punches me in the ribs and I gasp – more in surprise than pain. My hand slips off the doorknob but I reach for it again and Gale pushes me up against the door and twists my arm behind my back. I cry out as I feel my joints stretch much further than they ever should and Gale puts his hand over my mouth. I bite him hard and he shouts in pain and punches me in the face with enough force for me to hit my head again on the wall.

I space out and when my mind returns I am on the floor. There is something fastening my hands together and as I struggle against it I realise its Gales belt. I hear the sound of a zipper being undone and I suddenly realise what Gale's going to do.

"Gale" I cry, struggling harder against my bonds "Please, no..."

"Shut up!" He slaps my face again, hard "I thought I told you once."

I kick out at him as he pulls off my trousers and underwear, but he dodges easily. I start to scream loudly – I can't be far from my, Peeta or Haymitch's house but Gale puts his hands across my lips, ignoring my biting and muffled screams before stuffing my underwear into my mouth. I cry as loudly as I can but I know it's not loud enough as gale feels underneath my t-shirt, as he cups my breast and makes an animal noise. He pulls up my t-shirt and I try to stop him but he holds my bound hands above my head and bites down hard on my breast. I cry out in pain and he makes that noise again. I feel him position himself between my legs and I try to keep them together as I've learnt kicking him won't work.

"I'm going to teach you what sex with a real man is like." Gale mutters "Just relax, I promise you'll enjoy it."

And then suddenly, without warning he's pulled my legs apart and pushed himself into me, hard. I scream in pain but he doesn't stop, pulling himself all the way out and pushing himself in again. There are tears running down my cheeks and I try to hit him but he holds my hands above my head and kisses and bites my lips through his makeshift gag. I feel my lips bleed under his teeth and I try to bite him back but this just makes him angrier and he pulls out. I wonder if he's done but he merely flips me over.

"Sorry love, I didn't realise you liked pain" I can hear him grinning as he presses my face into the carpet "I'll try to be more accommodating".

This goes on for hours it seems until he finally finishes. I can't believe that I'm still crying, but I am and he doesn't seem to notice. He walks over to where my arms are dead after he held them there for so long and he stands on my hands, grinding my fingers into the floor. He removes his belt from around my wrists and ties it around his waist before stamping hard on my hands again and turning to leave. I don't even have the energy to try and pull out his home made gag and with the pain in my fingers I'm not even sure I could.

"Catnip" He calls back and I shudder "Let's keep our new relationship a secret. If you tell anyone, I'll tell them you're lying. I'll pay Prim a visit, a similar visit to the one I've just finished paying you in fact." I continue to cry. "See you later Katniss."

**A/N  
1- summery of this chapter to anyone who preferred not to read it:**

**Katniss panics and runs from the house and ends up in the cellar of another house in the victors village (the same as in the book). She works out that Peeta will be with her in the games and decides that due to their new found relationship she must do her best to protect him this time rather than let him protect her. She decides to go see Haymitch as she feels like being in his company but Gale happens to see her as she is about to leave the house and tells her to stay inside while he talks to her about how she's going back into the Games. She decides to leave eventually, worrying that her mother and Prim are worried but Gale stops her, claiming she's leaving to run into Peeta's arms, or even his bed, he jokes but then works out that they have already slept together. After shouting at her, she tries to run away but Gale beats her and rapes her and tells her that if she tells anyone he'll do the same to Prim.**

**2- comments**

**I didn't particularly enjoy writing this chapter due to obvious reasons but I felt that I did it well and I hope everyone feels the same. I apologise if any characters seem out of character – I tend to ramble a little when I write as I'm sure people have noticed and this leads to a lot of OOC-ness. Still, I hope you all enjoy the story, Don't forget to comment as I LOVE comments.**

**And just to let you guys know, there's going to be another twist coming up in the story other than the Katniss Pregnancy so keep reading and I'll keep writing.**

**Lastly, one or two people have reviewed with suggestions or requests for the future of the story – I'd just like everyone to know that I am MORE than happy to read and take into account your suggestions so if anyone has any ideas please review or send me a private message with your idea and I promise to give you credit at the end unless you wish otherwise!**

**Thanks Guys!  
CaffinH**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: Hi guys  
I apologise for the delay of this chapter, I've been busy with exams and such, and I had a few unhappy reviews of my last chapter which, though I was expecting, really set me back. I apologise again to anyone I upset or offended and I'm sorry again for the delay of chapter five.**

Chapter Five

I lay there for days and then I realised it had only been minutes. I wondered if my life would always be like this – thinking hours had passed when only seconds had been. After a while longer I tried moving my legs and gasped as a spasm of pain shot through me. Of course gasping didn't help either as I was sure I had a fractured, if not, broken rib. After a lot of effort, I clambered to my feet. I stood there for a while, holding onto the banister and waiting for my legs to stop shaking and after 10 minutes I realised that that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

I struggled up the stairs into the bathroom and tried the shower without much hope. To, what should have been my surprise if it were possible for me to feel anything right now, the shower came on. I scrubbed my clothes under the cold water before washing myself until I felt a little cleaner. I could still feel him on me though, his sweat clinging to my body, his lips against mine – I shuddered, stopping myself going any further. I didn't want to think of it. Not now or ever again.

I should tell someone, I know I should. But I can't. I don't know what Gale's capable of any more – a painful shiver runs through me as his name seems to rip through my thoughts. I would never have thought he was capable of the threat he made – to do to Prim what he just did to me – but then again I never thought he'd be capable of this either. Besides, who would I tell? Peeta?

My legs give way and I sit on the shower floor as I'm filled with the only emotion I've been able to feel since everything – guilt. Peeta. Another man has had sex with me while I was in a relationship with Peeta. What would this do to him if he ever found out? Especially considering it was Ga- Him.

I feel my lips tighten as I grimace and decide that Peeta can never know. No one can ever know.

By the time my clothes have dried to a reasonable standard I put them on again carefully- although as soon as I get home I plan to burn them or throw them away or something, as long as I never see them again. I limp downstairs and can't help but glance at the hallway floor. There's a small blood stain there. I wonder if I should clean it up but I decide not to bother. I'm never coming back in here, so I'll never see it again.

I open the door and am surprised to find its day time, around 8am. Prim will be leaving for class soon, I have to see her to make sure she's ok. I walk home as quickly as I can. Luckily it's still raining so my damp clothes don't look too out of place.

Though I open the front door quietly, I am basically rugby tackled by Prim as she comes shooting out from the kitchen.

"Oh thank god you're back!" She cries into my shirt. I ignore the pain of by ribs and I hold her tight, guilt replacing the blood in my veins.

I shush her, stroking her hair, and as hard as I try my eyes glance to the carpet next to the banister and I pale. All the houses here are built identical and its almost as though I can see it happening all over again.

"Katniss?" Prim sais and from her tone I gather it's not the first time she's called my name "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing Prim." I sigh "I'm just tired, that's all. I've been up all night."

"Katniss, you're bleeding!" Prim gasps and I pale, sighing in relief when I realise she's gesturing at my bloody knuckles from breaking the door and from His boot.

"Its fine, Prim." I hug her again so she can't see the blood, even though I know she's more than capable to deal with it. "I hit a tree, that's all. I was angry"

She starts to say something but purses her lips when I cut across her and tell her to go to school and that I'll be fine and I want to go to bed. She looks so much like our mother when she does that...speaking of which I turn and look for my mother and find her standing in the kitchen doorway, watching me in worry. I smile a tight-lipped smile at her which is meant to be reassuring but I suspect it makes her worry more, and then I climb the staircase – too slowly unfortunately, and I'm sure they notice my difficulty – and clamber into bed, pulling the blankets up over my head, blocking out the whole world. I don't ever want to resurface.

**A/N**

**Sorry again for the delay, I know it's a bit of a letdown after the wait but I've been so busy and though some reviews have been very supportive, some have been less that supportive and quite scary which really put me off. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner! Sorry again guys! 3**

**Review **


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter six

When I resurface its night again. I wouldn't have resurfaced at all, except I have needs. I shower again while I'm up, feeling anger bubbling inside me because I can still feel the dirt all over me. I leave the bathroom, intending on going back to bed but my mother calls from downstairs. She sounds worried and I feel a spasm of guilt.

"Katniss?" She calls. I glance over the landing. She's looking up at me from the bottom of the stairs, her blue eyes anxious. "Are you hungry? You haven't eaten today..."

I'm not hungry.

"You have to eat something. Come downstairs, now." I hadn't realised I'd spoken out loud, but hearing the authoritive tone in my mother's voice I realise I don't have the energy to argue and I walk slowly downstairs, trying and failing to hide my limp from my mother's all-seeing eyes. I see her eyes twitch as she considers asking what I've done, but she doesn't. To my surprise, she hugs me.

"I'm so sorry" She says. I can hear sobs threatening her voice "After your father...I should have done more to look after you. You haven't had the best life, and to go into the games in the first place is a horrible thing to experience, let alone go in twice. I wish I'd done more to improve your quality of life as best I could before you were chosen..." she trails into silence as I awkwardly pat her back. I'm not good with this, and even though I feel awkward, I feel tears threatening me too.

"Mum it's okay..." I mumble. Suddenly I'm very aware of how close she is to me. I feel my chest getting tighter. I don't like it. I push her away, feeling guilty again as she looks hurt.

"Peeta knocked for you today." She changes the subject quickly. My insides tighten and I feel sick.

"He...he did?" I stammer

"Yes." She looks at me in curiosity regarding my reaction "Twice. I told him you were in bed."

"oh." I say. I take a few steps towards to kitchen and then I stop "I think I'd better find him."

"But Katniss, you haven't eaten all day." My mother protests

"I'll get food there" I tell her, putting on my shoes "He's probably worried. I'll be fine mum" and I leave. I don't go to Peeta's though. I'm not sure where I'm going until I realise I'm knocking at Haymitch's door.

"I wondered how long it would take you to come here..." Haymitch mumbles as he opens the door and trails into the living room. The floor is littered with empty bottles as usual.

"So you finally did the maths did you?" he asks, seeming slightly angry and quite apathetic. I don't say anything. "Worked out you wouldn't be going in alone? So you've come to ask me to make sure I go in, not Peeta, because Peeta is much more important than me."

I honestly hadn't thought about it since it had happened really. There's just been so much to deal with. I glance down at the bottles on the floor.

"I came for a drink." I tell him. Right now a drink seems like a pretty good idea. He looks at me in surprise for a second before laughing and handing me the bottle he's drinking from. I wipe the top with my sleeve and take a big gulp. I don't expect to feel anything – I haven't felt much of anything in around 24 hours, but I find myself coughing and spluttering as Haymitch continues to laugh at me. My eyes light up. I can feel something. I take another mouthful and sit down while Haymitch shrugs and opens a fresh bottle from nowhere, it seems.

"You know, I'm surprised it's taken you so long to come here." Haymitch tells me. I don't reply, it's not a question. "Peeta was here in a second. Begging me to let him go in instead of me. Asking to make a deal like last time."

I don't say anything. I knew he would, it's no surprise.

"His argument is that since I chose you last year, I should listen to him this year." Haymitch tells me after waiting for a response. He has a point, I think.

"I can't let that happen." I tell him slowly.

"I knew you would say that." Haymitch sighs. I see pain flicker through his eyes.

"The Capitol hate me so much right now, I'm as good as dead anyway. If I survive again, they'll kill me." Haymitch stares as me as I discuss my death in a very reasonable and logical manner. "Peeta still has a chance. Besides..." I take another mouthful from the bottle "...trying to keep me alive in those Games this year is going to be hard. Maybe even impossible."

We don't talk. We stare blankly and drink quickly and in large amounts and as unexpected as it seems, Haymitch passes out before me. I stay awake into the early hours of the morning and then I slip into welcome unconsciousness.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

I'm barely awake five seconds before there's a nauseating sensation in my stomach. I run for the toilet and throw up every drop of the white liquor I drank last night. It burns twice as much coming up as it did going down, but I'm pleased for the feeling. The pain as the liquid regurgitates itself is welcoming. It means I can feel…something.

I stumble down Haymitch's stairs, my eyes blurry, planning on going home and brushing my teeth before falling back into bed, before guilt takes a big wooden spoon and mixes what's left of the contents of my stomach and I run back upstairs, throwing up again noisily.

On my second attempt and stumbling down the stairs, I manage to reach the bottom stair when Peeta walks in through the door. We both stand and stare blankly at each other. I wish more than anything that I still had something left in me to throw up so that I could escape this awkwardness but I don't.

"Hey." Peeta sais awkwardly. Does he know about Gale? Even though I can't possibly still have anything left in me to throw up, I feel sick again.

"I'm sorry-" I blurt out quickly, feeling tears form in my eyes, but Peeta interrupts.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I understand Katniss" He tells me, smiling briefly. "It's okay that you didn't want company yesterday…It was difficult for us all to hear."

My hungover brain takes a moment to realize what he's talking about and then I understand. He thinks I'm apologizing for avoiding him yesterday.

"oh…" I mumble "Yeah…well…" I don't know what to say, I'm just relived he doesn't know what I've done.

"Don't worry about it" He smiles at me again, and streaches out his hand for me to take. I glance at his palm and flinch, images of Gale slapping me flashing through my mind. I flinch and Peeta really looks at me for the first time since he realized it was me standing in front of him and not Haymitch as he expected.

I can't imagine how I must look to him. Pale, my fringe damp from sweat due to the effort of throwing up for the past 15 minutes, clothes messy, wrinkled and obviously slept in, hair trailing out of its usual braid. I must look a mess.

How fitting, because I am a mess.

"Katniss, are you okay?" He asks me, looking worried. He glances in the living room and sees Haymitch passed out, surrounded by empty bottles. "Have you been drinking with Haymitch?" He asks me, quite angrily.

"As a matter of fact, I have." I reply, quite annoyed. How dare he get angry with me. If I want to drink because it's the only thing that makes me feel real, the only thing that lets me forget, then how dare he not let me. Even as I'm thinking this, my lips turning down into the usual frown I know he's probably just a little offended that I came here to drink with Haymitch when I was upset about something that affected us all instead of going to see him, my boyfriend, who I'm supposed to rely on for these things.

My boyfriend. He can't be my boyfriend now. Not after what I've done.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Peeta storming away into the living room. I follow him and watch as he picks up liquor bottles, empty and full and starts throwing them out. He takes the full ones and I watch as he starts emptying them down the sink. I get up to protest, and stop, still feeling nauseous and then I remember I stored some for Haymitch in my house so I have my own. No need to worry. I glance over at Haymitch's snoring form and I'm glad he doesn't have to see this.

"There." Peeta tells me "It's done."

"What's done?" Speak of the devil, Haymitch has awoken.

"I've poured all your liquor down the drain." Peeta tells him, still glaring at me.

"You've what?" Haymitch stumbles to his feet, face red with either anger or with the effort of not throwing up on the beige carpet (which judging by the state of it, he has done before).

"I tossed the lot." Peeta tells him, finally tearing his eyes away from me to watch Haymitch pawing pitifully through the box where he normally keeps his alcohol.

"He'll just buy more." I sigh. Doesn't he realize this is futile?

"No, he won't." Peeta tells me, his mouth pressed into a straight line. "I've already tracked down Ripper and told her that I'll turn her in if I catch her selling alcohol to either of you. I paid her off too, just for good measure, but I don't think she's eager to be back in the Peacekeepers custody."

Haymitch swipes at Peeta with his knife, but he's still drunk and Peeta moves out of the way easily.

"What business is it of yours?" I ask him, still angry.

"It's completely my business." He replies, one eye still on a stumbling, knife wielding Haymitch. "However it falls out, two of us are still going to be in the arena again with the other as a mentor. We can't afford any drunkards on the team. Especially you, Katniss."

"What?" I splutter, getting to my feet. "Last night was the only time I've ever been drunk."

"Yeah, and look at the shape you're in." Peeta gestures at me. I start to retort but as he shouts at me and guestures wildly, in my mind he looks just like Gale…

"_you've had sex with him, didn't you, you dirty slut!" he yelled, punching the wall beside him._

I sink slowly to the floor, sitting down with me knees against my chest, staring at the floor. I try to make the memory go away and it slowly fades. I glance up and Peeta's looking at me in concerned surprise. I suppose I don't usually give into arguments this easily.

"What's the point of this?" Haymitch shouts, too hungover to notice me. Peeta glances at me quickly and then puts my unusual actions down to being hungover and replies to Haymitch.

"The point is two of us are coming home from the Capitol. One mentor, one victor. Effie's sending me the recordings of all the living victors. We're going to watch their games and learn everything about how they fight. We're going to put on weight and get strong. We're going to start actin like Careers. And one of us are going to be victor again, whether you two like it or not!" He turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him. Haymitch winces and then disappears upstairs to the bathroom. I stay where I am for a while, before climbing to my feet and starting to walk home. As I come closer to my house, I see Peeta leaving with the bottles of liquor I'd collected for Haymitch. I don't even care. He sees me and acknowledges me with a nod of the head. I stop to apologize for my behavior, maybe try and find some way to explain why I've been the way I have. Maybe I can even think of a way to be with him still, even after…the Incident. But then behind him, I see Gale walking up the street. Gale looks at me and waves. It's the first time I've seen him since It happened and I'm filled with great fear as I turn and run into my house, locking the door and leaning up against it.

I turn and see Prim and my mother standing in the kitchen doorway, watching me. I forget about Gale. I forget about Peeta and what he must be thinking about my behavior. I turn to Prim and my mother and decide to be strong and open my mouth, planning to start with a joke. Instead, tears fill my eyes and I start crying.

So much for being strong. Prim and mother take me in their arms and take me up to bed, laying me under the blankets and stroking my hair and my arms, making soothing noises and it isn't long before I'm drifting into sleep, knowing for the first time in 2 long days that I'm safe.

For now.

**A/N hey guys **

**Sorry for the delay on chapters, I know I said I'd be updating a lot more often now that exams are over but my laptop's broken and has to keep going into the shop to be fixed – VERY annoying, as all I want to do is write!**

**First: I know this chapter's quite repetitive to the book, but I wanted the story to be as similar as possible to Catching Fire and Mockingjay, with the only editations being due to the events that I've added in. There probably won't be very much difference in the next few chapters in comparison to the book, and I hope it doesn't bore you guys too much – promise it'll get interesting soon!**

**Secondly: I've just started an Avengers fanfiction if any of you Hunger Game's fans are Avengers fans too Its called Black Swan and it's an Natasha and Loki romance, so if you're interested, I hope you'll read it **

**Thanks, as always for reading and thank you to everyone who has sent me so many supportive reviews, I try to reply to as many as I can and I hope I didn't miss anyone out.**

**CaffinH 3**


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Time to sort myself out.

I have to focus on something. I have to sort my life out and try to get back to being me...even though I don't really feel like me much anymore. I can't keep breaking down like I did in front of my mother and Prim. And Peeta's right, I can't just get drunk constantly. No matter what happens, no matter what Gale did, I still have to go back into the arena, and I still have to make sure Peeta survives. I decided that before the Incident, and it hasn't changed. The only difference now is whereas before Peeta's life was more important than mine, now my life is worthless. I don't deserve to survive and I hope that knowing this will help me save Peeta.

So I play along with him. Acting like Career's is good, it gives me something other than the flashbacks and my impending death and constant apathy to focus on, and besides, it's the best way to get Peeta ready for the arena too.

And so my day's are arranged. Every morning I wake up, I shower and dress and after forcing some food into my protesting stomach, I jog quickly to Haymitch's house where Peeta is usually already there. We do exercises to strengthen our bodies – running, lifting heavy objects and stretching our muscles. Then in the afternoon we practice hand to hand combat, knife throwing and such. Peeta even persuades me to teach them how to climb trees. Officially, we aren't meant to train for the Hunger Games but no one stops us, not even Thresh the new head peacekeeper. He is the only one who doesn't have pity in his eyes for us whenever he sees us. In fact, he looks positively excited.

While Peeta's body excels to our new daily routine, Haymitch has abused himself with alcohol for so long his body resists change. He is still very strong but he cannot run far, and as a side effect to the lack of alcohol his hands won't stop shaking enough for him to throw a knife in a straight line or even throw a good punch.

I on the other hand don't seem to improve much at all. Though my mother has put all three of us on a special diet to help us gain weight, I haven't gained much. While Prim treats my sore muscles I stare into space. It's difficult to force myself to watch the old Hunger Games with Peeta and Haymitch each night, and though I manage I rarely join in with their conversation around tactics. Peeta has noticed, but he doesn't get chance to ask me about it. Even Haymitch has noticed but when he asked I told him I was just exhausted. He just patted me on the shoulder and told me that even though I didn't intend to survive the games I shouldn't start dying yet and I forced a smile before walking away. If only he knew I was already dead.

The issue with not talking much is that I am left with far too much time to think. I try to think of different things – Does thirteen exist? Have Bonnie and Twill made it there or are they still trapped in the woods somewhere? Are there really uprisings in other districts other than Eight as Haymitch, Peeta and I suspect due to shortages of different materials in the Capitol – information kindly given to me by my prep team and in the Capitol newspapers Madge sneaks us from her father's study? Everything I think brings me back to Gale. I cannot believe that this is the guy I trusted to look after my mother and sister while I was in the games. I cannot believe that less than a week ago I was going to run away with him and his family and mine to...wherever we had a chance of being safe.

I try thinking of the wedding dress shoot, but even that makes me think of Gale – of how worried I was about him seeing them. Maybe that's why he was so angry when he saw me. I shudder at the memory.

Suddenly I start laughing. I feel overly happy and airy and I just start giggling. Haymitch and Peeta turn to look at me in surprise – we're in the middle of watching the 67th hunger games - and the expression on their faces just makes me laugh more. I realise I don't have to marry Peeta now because I'm going to die in the arena. He can finally be with someone who will make him happy, who won't let another man do that to her, who will marry him and have his children –things I cannot and will not do in a society like this. He will finally get his happy ending and I thank President Snow for that. I wish he could see me now, laughing at how all this has turned out. Laughing because although he has condemned me to death this is the best thing for me and for Peeta.

Still laughing I stand up and leave without saying anything to the boys sitting in front of the television, but before I even get to my house I am suddenly exhausted. I still feel nauseas and hungover, even though I can't possibly still be hungover. I practically drag myself up the stairs and into bed but before my head even touches the pillow I have to get up and run to the bathroom to be sick.

No wonder I'm not putting on weight – I don't know if it's this new diet or the training but I'm sick almost every day. After brushing my teeth and climbing back into bed I let myself feel my aching body. Every muscle I have is aching, even my breasts and I'm exhausted. My mother comes upstairs to say goodnight and asks if I threw up again. When I nod sleepily she frowns and disappears, telling me not to sleep, and returns with some kind of tea. It smells minty and it's delicious and it settles my stomach in minutes. I finish it quickly and I've barely put the cup down on the side before I'm asleep.

The next day I wake up feeling nauseas again but after showering and clambering down the stairs – my leg is still aching – I see that my mother has made more of the peppermint tea she gave me last night. I drink some and almost immediately my stomach settles. Mother frowns at me from where she is preparing my breakfast and I'm about to ask why when I smell something.

I stand up and walk over to the window, sniffing. I know I must look ridiculous – I can tell by the confused expression on my mother's face, but I don't care. Whatever it is, it smells delicious. Taking advantage of the fact that this is the first time I've felt any want for anything in an age it seems, I leave my house through the back door after saying goodbye to mother and follow the smell to Peeta's house. I knock on the back door and he answers. He looks tired and is covered in flour.

"Katniss?" He looks surprised. It seems all I'm doing is surprising people lately. "What are you doing here? We don't start training for another hour."

"What are you making?" I ask, trying to see past him. He moves aside and lets me in.

"Cheese buns." He tells me. "I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so I thought I'd make some cheese buns."

"Are they ready?" I ask, looking back and forth from him to the oven.

"Just about" he asks cautiously, taking them out of the oven. The smell increases and my mouth waters. I need one of those.

"Can I have one?" I ask, practically jumping up and down in excitement.

"Sure" he says. "You might want to wait for them to cool down though..."

Although I'm sure I'll be embarrassed by my behaviour later as soon as Peeta says 'Sure' I grab one greedily and take a big bite. It's boiling – I probably should have listened to Peeta and waited until they cooled down as I'm sure I've burnt my tongue – but I don't care, it's delicious.

Peeta watches me eat it in less than 10 seconds and he offers me another one, looking even more astonished when I take it. And another. Until I've eaten four and realise there's only four left for him.

"I'm sorry!" I gasp. "I didn't mean to eat so many."

"Its fine" He laughs "I can make more any time." I smile at him. It's the first time in a long time I've seen him laugh.

"It's nice to see you again Katniss." He smiles warmly at me and I let myself smile back. If I'm going to die in a few weeks anyway, I'd may as well not focus on any of the bad stuff that's happened and just live what's left of my life, and so when Peeta comes towards me and slowly wraps his arms around me, though I flinch I fight the instinct to push him away and I let him. It feels...terrifying. But nice at the same time. After a few seconds I pull away, trying not to look too panicked and mention that we should go meet Haymitch. Peeta grins at me and passes me another cheese bun which I share with him on my way over to the recovering alcoholic's house. Well, I say share. I end up eating most of it, but its okay because Peeta doesn't seem to mind.

For the first time in a long time I feel genuinely happy. Even Haymitch notices and grumbles on our way to the meadow –which is where we train - about how it's too early to be so cheery, but I can tell he's joking. Mostly. I'm laughing at him as we reach the meadow and suddenly I stop.

Peeta takes a second to realise I'm not at his side any more before he turns walks back to me.

"Katniss?" he asks. I can only imagine what the expression of horror on my face looks like to him. Probably similar to the expression I wore when I heard Effie call Prim's name that day. "Are you okay?"

I don't get chance to answer because Gale is walking towards us with a big grin on his face.

_A/N Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in the chapters, I really did mean to update more than once a month. Thank you for all my followers and reviewers and I PROMISE I'll be updating more regularly now, at LEAST once a fortnight, if not, Once a week._

_On my other fanfiction (Avengers if anyone's interested) I've had a few comments suggesting I should make my chapters longer, which I'm trying to apply to this fanfic too. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope to hear from you guys soon! Chapter Nine should be up ASAP 3_

_Thank you for reading! 3_


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Oh God. It's Him.

"Hey Catnip" Gale walks towards me, grinning. "Long time no see!"

'_Sorry love, I didn't realise you liked pain...'_

"Gale's going to teach us how to do some snares" Peeta smiles at me, though the smile disappears almost immediately when he sees the expression on my face "Katniss?"

'_I'll try to be more accommodating.'_

I can't think. All I can see is his hands, those hands that hold his siblings hands, those hands which are forced to work in a coal mine, those hands which hit me everywhere and touched me everywhere...

'_You've done it, haven't you? You've had sex with him, you dirty slut!'_

Haymitch calls Gale over and he shoots me a look which Peeta misses because he's too busy watching me before wandering away.

"What's wrong?" Peeta asks me. I feel tears well up in my eyes and I try to stop them. I'm breathing too fast and it hurt's my still broken ribs. "Katniss, I thought you'd be happy. You haven't seen Gale in forever because we're keeping you so busy training and he works so often. I'm trying to get along with him for you...I know how important he is to you."

"Peeta..." I gasp. A tear rolls down my cheek as I struggle to keep the others in. Peeta places his hands – his beautiful, soft, bread-making hands on my face and wipes the tear away with his thumb. I have to do it, I have to tell him. "Peeta, He-"

"Oi, Lovebirds!" Haymitch calls over to us. To him we must look like we're embracing. The moment is broken. I wipe my eyes dry and transform my expression into one of stone before Peeta has even had chance to turn back to look at me. He frowns. "Hurry up! We don't have all day."

Peeta takes one last look at me but seems to realise I won't say anything more before taking my hand and leading me up the hill. Gale shoots a glare at us and I let go of Peeta's hand immediately, feeling a twist of guilt in my stomach as Peeta glances at me, hurt.

'_Oh Peeta...' I think 'If only you knew.'_

The day can only be described as horrendous. Because I already know everything Gale is teaching, I can't even focus on the task at hand to stop the flashbacks. I try to situate myself between Peeta and Haymitch, as far away from Gale as possible, using excuses such as "I'll help Haymitch, you can help Peeta" but he finds reasons to be beside me.

"Katniss, you know that's not how you do that snare" he'll grin at me, his evil smile seeming worse now that the smile on the blood-stained lips of our President.

As the day goes on it becomes obvious to Gale that I haven't told anyone anything, and he slowly becomes more confident. As I walk towards Peeta to help him with a particularly tricky snare I can see he's having trouble with, he kicks my sore leg out from under me so that I sprawl on the floor. Worse than doing that, he then helps me up, laughing at my 'clumsiness'. He elbows me in my broken ribs twice and a few times when no one's watching he even strokes my backside, making me jump and tears fill my eyes. I can't take this anymore.

But I have to stay. For Peeta and Haymitch. They can't know, especially Peeta. It would kill him to know I let someone else do to me what I only should have done with him. Watching him working hard at his snares, the sunlight shining on his golden hair. His arm is currently wrapped around a tree trunk to clip the last piece of the snare in place and I suddenly remember in the last hunger games when he painted his arm to blend in with a tree trunk in the sunlight. How he said he was going to win the games by using frosting – his final defence. My lips straighten and I vow that I will get through today, and I will not let Gale get to me anymore. I will be Peeta's final defence in the 75th hunger games, if it kills me.

I even smile a little at that.

Gale, however catches the smile and sees me looking at him.

"Hey Katniss" He calls over to me from where he's working with Haymitch. I glance up at him and then back down at the floor, nodding in acknowledgement. "How's Prim?"

I freeze.

'_If you tell anyone I'll tell them you're lying. I'll pay Prim a visit, a similar visit to the one I've just finished paying you in fact.'_

I stand up, my legs shaking. I feel sick again and I'm not sure if it's because it's been so long since my mother gave me the peppermint tea or if I'm angry or if I'm just scared.

"_Prim"_ I think _"I have to protect Prim."_

I turn and ignoring Peeta, Haymitch and Gale calling after me, I run. I want to run away, run into the woods, run to my lake, run anywhere – regardless of the fact that the fence is up now and I couldn't get out if I wanted too. I need to see Prim; I need to make sure that she is okay.

It doesn't take me long to get home at the speed I'm racing. I'm actually a little surprised no one stopped me, or that I didn't push anyone over but I need to see Prim.

I burst into the house, startling my mother who is carrying a vase of flowers upstairs. She drops the flowers and the water goes everywhere and it almost makes me laugh. My life is shattered, bits of me everywhere – how am I any different to the vase?

"Prim?!" I shout. I turn to my mother who is almost running down the stairs, trying to avoid bits of broken glass and the slippery wet floor. "Where is she?"

"Katniss?" Prim comes out of the kitchen.

"Don't come out here Primrose!" My mother calls at her "There's glass and water-"

"Prim!" I cut across her. I kneel in front of her, ignoring the broken glass on the floor and pull her into my arms "Prim, are you okay?"

"Katniss, I'm fine" Prim tells me. I hold her in my arms a second longer before looking her in the eyes.

"I know this may sound insane" I tell her, speaking so quickly I'm surprised she can understand me "But I need to know, has anyone hurt you? Has –" I lower my voice "Has Gale hurt you?"

"Katniss, you're scaring me" Prim looks at me, her eyes filled with worry "I'm fine, I promise."

He was lying. He was just trying to scare me. I don't even have chance to feel any emotions – angry, sadness, panic, worry – beyond relief. I hear Peeta and Haymitch walk in behind me – They must have followed me home – and I get to my feet to try and come up with some kind of explanation.

"Thank god." I mumble and then everything goes black. I hear them all shout my name and feel strong hands catch me before I land in the graveyard of dead flowers and glass on the hallway floor and somehow I know it was Peeta.

He always catches me.

_A/N_

_Told you Chapter Nine would be coming soon :P I can't seem to get this story out of my mind at the minute, so hopefully I'll be updating a lot over the next few days – one week today I'm back in Uni though but I will finish this story. :) _

_Chapter Ten is going to be important (unless I get a better idea before I write it, which I doubt atm) so don't miss it!_

_CaffinH_


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

The world slowly comes back into focus. I'm so comfortable right now, I don't want to get up. It's so warm under the blankets – I must be in my bed. I don't open my eyes to check though. I just want to go back to sleep. So I do. I don't remember until much later vaguely acknowledging the smell of bread and hearing the soft breathing of someone watching me sleep.

I dream about living in the Seam back when things were normal. Back when my father was still alive, and everything was ordinary. When Prim was a toddler and my mother smiled and was passionate, and my parents were so in love. From what I remember they had a pretty much perfect relationship. I know I would have noticed them arguing – even when my father was alive we only had enough money to live in the small house in the Seam with the one bedroom – so I would have heard them if they argued. I dream about my mother reading Prim and I to sleep and my father singing us awake in the morning. I dream of Peeta telling me in the cave when we were in the arena about how my mother fell in love with my father because when he sang all the birds stopped to listen. I dream of the day I sang in school, the day I can only partly remember but Peeta remembers vividly from what he's told me.

When I wake up again, its morning. I've been asleep for a long time, and it takes a while for my memory to return. I remember the cheese buns and the peppermint tea. I remember training with Haymitch and Peeta. I remember seeing Gale.

My eyes snap open and I sit up suddenly. Gale was there. Gale, my fake cousin, more like a brother. Gale, the man who forced himself on me. Gale who threatened to hurt my sister.

Oh God, Prim. For a moment I panic, until I remember Prim telling me that she was fine, that Gale hadn't done anything. Then it all comes flooding back to me, Gale's comments, me running home, my outburst and then fainting.

I put my head in my hands and run my fingers through my hair. Someone has let it out of its braid and it's hanging loosely over my shoulders. I can't believe I fainted in front of my mother and in front of Prim. I mean, I've seen Haymitch pass out before so it doesn't really bother me that he saw, and Peeta...though it's embarrassing to pass out in front of him, he can handle it. To pass out in front of my mother and little sister though...

I slam my hands down on the bed. I am so angry with myself. They must have been so worried. I'm supposed to protect them and instead I act like I'm insane. I have got to sort myself out and I know I've thought that to myself a few times over the past few days but today I resolve to do it.

So I get up with the intention of showering, dressing and then finding Peeta and Haymitch to do some training but instead I spend quarter of an hour throwing up. I shower quickly and brush my teeth to get rid of the acidic taste, wondering if all this throwing up is damaging my teeth. It can't be good for me.

I almost run downstairs and in the spirit of trying to sort myself out, I practically skip into the kitchen. Again, mother has made peppermint tea and after I wish her a good morning, I pour myself a cup and start sipping it quickly. Mother looks surprised to see me and I'm almost confused until I realise I've been asleep since yesterday afternoon.

"Sorry about what happened yesterday." I tell her, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.

"No need to apologise." My mother tells me, sitting at the table and gesturing for me to sit down opposite.

"Is Prim okay?" I ask. I don't take the seat. I feel awkward enough as it is.

"She's fine" Mother says "She was a bit worried, but she went off to school this morning okay. She'll want to see you tonight though." Again, she nods at the seat and I subtly shake my head, my mind elsewhere. Yes, I suppose I'll have to stay in tonight. After all, the reaping is midday the day after tomorrow.

Suddenly I need to see Peeta. I grab a bun from the side – I wonder if it's one of Peeta's or if his family made it? – before wishing goodbye to my mother, who begins to protest, but I leave before she can. I feel awkward enough as it is around her after my stunt yesterday.

Peeta isn't at home so I go and visit Haymitch. He's asleep on the sofa. I wake him up gently and he slowly opens his eyes, groaning. He hasn't been drinking so he's not hungover. He's just exhausted.

"When was the last time you had a decent nights sleep?" I ask him.

"When was the last time you let me have a drink?" He retorts and I roll my eyes.

"Do you know where Peeta is?" I ask him.

"Sweetheart, you just woke me up." Haymitch grumbles. "How would I know?"

I don't answer him. It's a good point. I hear a clatter from the kitchen and then Hazelle walks in. For a second I freeze. She's tall for a woman, roughly her son's height, with the same dark hair and gray eyes that every child from the seam has. Other than Prim, of course. When I realise it's her and not Gale, I relax on the outside but inside I'm praying she doesn't mention him. Which of course, she does immediately.

"Hey Katniss" Hazelle smiles at me "Long time no see. Gale said you were sick yesterday?"

"Yeah" I mumble, fiddling with the end of my braid. Out of the corner of my eye I see Haymitch watching me. "I'm fine now though."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it" She smiles at me, a beautiful warm smile and my heart breaks because I used to trust that same smile on another's face once, before he betrayed me in the worst possible way. "We need to keep you nice and healthy, what with the reaping and everything."

She looks at me with pity in her eyes, the same pity I see in everyone else's, and I sigh. I wish it was just her pity I had to focus on, but the difference between Hazelle and everyone else is that she looks at me in kindness, while they just feel pity.

I wish she wasn't so kind. I wish I could hate her, because maybe then I could tell people what's happened to me. But I know what it would do to her if she found out how badly her son hurt me, and after all she's done for me and my family, after all the troubles of her own she has at home I don't think I could do it to her.

So I smile weakly at her and suggest a walk with Haymitch, who agrees without argument.

"What's going on with you?" He barks at me as we walk through the Victor's village. My eyes flick automatically to That house, but he doesn't notice.

"Nothing." I dismiss his question "We should find Peeta. We should tell him what we have planned – maybe if we can persuade him to listen to us he's understand and agree with us. Then keeping him alive in the arena won't be so difficult because he'll be less preoccupied with helping me and more so with keeping alive."

"Sweetheart." Haymitch looks at me, a flash of sadness in his eyes though his tone remains mocking as it always is when he calls me that "You know it won't work."

"Why!" I shout suddenly, taking Haymitch by surprise for the first time since I almost stabbed him on the train on the way to the last Hunger Games, now almost a year ago. "I don't see why it won't work, why he won't be reasonable and listen to me."

To my horror I feel tears in my eyes and though the questions were meant to be rhetorical I find myself waiting – praying – for an answer. I wish Peeta would understand, if he knew what I'd done maybe he'd hate me enough to let me die. And I realise, as I'm walking away from my silent mentor, tears running down my cheeks, that that's what I have to do.

I'm going to tell Peeta about Gale.

I walk into my house around an hour after I left, planning on going to my room and formulating a plan but my mother seems to appear from nowhere and pulls me into the kitchen. Whether it's because my mind is preoccupied or she's just determined to get me there, she easily manages to sit me down at the table and she sits down across from me.

"Katniss, I need you to listen to me." She tells me, but I'm barely listening.

"Not now mother, I need to do some things" I wave her demands away and I start to stand.

"Katniss Everdeen, you will sit down right now and listen to me!" My mother shouts and I freeze. She's never raised her voice to me before. I do as I'm told. She looks across the table at me and takes a deep breath and suddenly I'm terrified.

"Mother?" I ask quietly, my voice sounding childlike and scared.

"Katniss." She takes another breath and then looks me in the eye. "Katniss, I think you're pregnant."

_A/N What did you think? :D I have so many plans for the next few chapters...I hope you guys keep reading!_


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor. The tile is cold against my legs, even though my trousers but I barely notice. All I can do is try to remember to breathe as I stare at the little blue cross on the pregnancy test.

Positive.

When I first saw the cross I thought it meant that my mother was wrong. I've never seen a pregnancy test before – my mother purchased some from the Capital when it became clear she was being treated as District 12's new doctor. They're very expensive but we can afford them. When I saw the cross I assumed that it meant no. Then I read the box and realised it wasn't so much a 'Yes or No' thing, it was a positive or negative thing.

And even I know plus means positive.

Even so, I checked the instructions about a hundred timed before the shaking in my legs got too much to handle and I slid down the wall to the floor with a soft moan.

What am I going to do?

I've never wanted kids. Never. It doesn't matter that I'm a victor now, being a victor doesn't protect your children from the Games. And even without the Games every day life in District 12 is so dangerous – especially for me at the minute – I couldn't risk my child growing up like I did. Practically parentless, hungry and alone.

My mother knows. I think she guessed a long time ago, she knows the symptoms. It makes sense to me now too, though I know so little about pregnancy. The sickness, the thing with the Cheese Buns. Getting upset every five minutes about something or another. Things I just put down to what happened with Gale.

Oh God. Gale.

I'm going to have Gale's child.

Even when we were friends, I didn't want Gale's child. Not that at the time I didn't think he'd make a wonderful father, it's just we both have always had enough to deal with. In 10 years time I'm sure I'll still be taking care of my mother and Prim, and Gale will still be looking after his siblings and mother. We don't have time for children. And now, after knowing what he's capable of...I hoped he would never have children and risk what happened to me happening to them.

My mouth sets in a firm line. Gale can never know. Which is easy enough really, because I'm not going to live to even start showing anyway.

I'm surprised to find that as I think that there's a ripping feeling inside me and I find myself sobbing quietly. Already I feel emotion for what's inside me. Even if it is Gale's, I love him or her.

'_No Katniss'_ I tell myself firmly _'you can't think like that.'_

I can't afford to think like that. I can't afford to feel anything but apathy. The simple fact of the matter is, this doesn't change anything. It's still a choice between me – the girl who slept with another man while with someone and is now pregnant as a result – or Peeta, the boy who will take any amount of beating – a black eye from his mother, an infected stab in the leg from an angry tribute, cut hands from an emotional idiotic girl who should have realised how much she loved him at the time instead of wasting so much of her last days being silly and confused – just for me.

Silly, knocked up me.

If only Peeta was the father. Would that change anything? Probably not. It would still be me or him, knowing about it would only make him more determined to save my life. And as harsh as it sounds even to me, I think I'd still rather sacrifice myself and someone I haven't met yet to save him. He could do so much better.

He will do so much better.

I have to tell him the truth.

My plan from yesterday still makes sense. If Peeta knows what happened with Gale, maybe he'll hate me. And though that will hurt me – that's obvious from the tears filling my eyes even as I contemplate this – it might save him. In fact, being pregnant might help me – I suspect he may not have believed me if I had no evidence.

So, I wipe away my tears and stand, pressing my lips into a stubborn smile as I look at myself in the mirror. I take a deep breath and rebraid my hair in its typical plat down my left side. I feel almost as though I'm remaking myself. Trying to hide how scared I am of doing this – though not as scared as I am of having a child – behind my normal everyday appearance.

I almost break down again when I leave the bathroom and find my mother waiting downstairs with an expectant expression on her face. It's her doctor expression, not her mother expression and I don't have the strength to deny her an answer, so I simply nod my head and place the test on the table in front of her.

She stares at it for a moment and then her doctor demeanour breaks and she hugs me.

"It's going to be okay you know." She tells me. I pat her back awkwardly. I'm taller than my mother, and I feel almost as though I'm the mother and she's the child that I'm comforting. I flinch at the thought. Can't let myself think like that.

When I don't answer her, my mother pulls away and holds me at arm's length.

"Who's is it?" She asks me. I open my mouth to answer her but no words come out so I close it again and shake my head. I'll talk to Peeta first, then my mother. She seems to understand.

"Okay." She tells me and gestures at the door. She thinks I'm going to tell the father. If only that was the case. I see no sense in correcting her any time soon. Maybe never. I mean, tomorrow is the reaping and then after that I'm never going to see her again. Or Prim.

My eyes fill with tears and I blink them away furiously, walking outside in the morning sun. It's still quite early in day – after announcing her idea and spending about an hour trying to persuade me that she wasn't joking yesterday my mother made me wait until this morning to do the test – something about how it's more likely to give a correct result. It was the most nerve wracking afternoon of my life. I spent most of it playing with Prim, trying to distract myself and trying to spend as much time as possible with my little duck before the reaping. Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I went to bed early and didn't sleep much, waking up stupidly early this morning and having to wait until my mother woke up and sent Prim to school so I could take the test. She gave me a big hug before she left this morning... we didn't tell her, but I think she guessed something was up. She probably put it down to the Quarter Quell.

So it's only 10am. Peeta and Haymitch probably don't expect to see me today for training again, thinking I'm still sick, though I saw Haymitch yesterday. Peeta came to visit me yesterday while I was with Prim and my mother told him I was resting up so that I could be completely well before the reaping so of course he didn't question it. I find them up in the meadow and stand there watching them for a while before drawing any attention to myself. I notice that Haymitch has improved in the past few days – which seems pointless really as the second we get on that train he's going to be back to the bottle faster than you can say 'Hunger Games'. Peeta has also improved, while I'm watching he climbs almost to the top of the tree much faster than you would expect someone of his size to be able too, before he notices me watching and almost falls out of the tree. He blushes and I feel a twinge of fondness in my stomach followed by nauseating anxiety.

It's now or never.

I ask for a private word with him and Haymitch barely seems to notice him leaving. He's too preoccupied with his knife throwing.

"What's up Katniss?" Peeta smiles at me as we walk just out of Haymitch's hearing distance. "Are you feeling better?"

"Kind of." I tell him. He looks surprised at my bluntness and I immediately feel guilty. I look up into his big blue eyes, so bright and innocent and I can't bear to tell him. How can I do this to him?

"Katniss?" He frowns at me when I don't say anything else. I take a deep breath.

How can I do this to him? Because it might save his life.

"I'm pregnant." I blurt out. I hear a loud thud as Haymitch's knife hits the wrong tree and I blush a deep red. Apparently I underestimated Haymitch's hearing.

"What?" Peeta stares at me. In that one second I can see so many emotions flashing across his face. Shock, confusion, fear. And then shocking me, he hugs me.

Oh God. He thinks it's his. It can't be, we used protection. Gale...didn't.

"Peeta." I push him away. He still looks scared but happy. I feel so terrible for not elaborating sooner. I should have picked my words better.

"It's okay Katniss" He tells me, speaking too quickly due to the mixture of emotions he's feeling "It'll be difficult, but we'll manage. I'm sure there's a way we can get you out of the Games and I'll make sure I win-"

"It's not yours." I cut across him, more abrupt than I meant too but I can't bear to let him continue. There's no way I can get out of the games, and even if I could I wouldn't – not if it meant not being there to take care of Peeta if he needed.

There's only one emotion on Peeta's face now. Pain.

I can't stand this. I'm so sorry Peeta, I want to say, but the words won't come out.

"Whose?" the question manages to crawl out from between his lips, almost as though he doesn't want it too. And then I say it, the word I know will break him and will break me too, but that's okay. I'm already broken.

"Gale's."

He looks at me in horror and I know I'll have nightmares about that expression on his face for the rest of my life. Pure, undiluted betrayal. He turns and starts to walk away.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

Forgive me.

So many things I want to shout yell and scream after him that can't come out. It's probably for the best, even though I feel as though I'm tearing my vocal chords trying to contain them.

"Sweetheart." I jump. I'd completely forgotten that Haymitch was there. He looks at me and I'm shocked at the expression of anger and disgust on his face "I never once would have expected that from you."

I watch him run after Peeta and I wait until they're out of sight before I sit down in the meadow and I cry.

_A/N_

_Hey Guys! The long awaited Katniss is pregnant chapter is finally done :D_

_A few people have suggested that Peeta and Haymitch should kick Gale's ass at some point soon. I can neither confirm nor deny if this will actually happen, but I can tell you that I have no plans for it in the near future. Sorry guys! Keep the reviews coming though and I will give you the ass-kicking you guys think Gale deserves :P_

_Just to clear this up, I don't hate Gale's character really. I mean, he's not my favourite in the books, but I don't have him. I have made him the villain of this story though, so I do despise my version of Gale :P_

_Lastly, a reply to a specific review which was from a guest so I couldn't PM them._

_The reviewer referred to themselves as Alec and commented that my timeline in my story (as well as in the actual Catching Fire book) is not really correct and is a bit confusing, pointing out correctly that the Victory Tour happened about 6 months before the Quarter Quell started, so Katniss should be about 5/6 months pregnant when the reaping happens (depending on who the father is ;) )._

_I just wanted to say I know you're right and this is an issue I found with the books too. I was going to change my story slightly so that it made more sense, but I decided to just keep it as much like the book as much as possible because the story may get a little complicated later on. So thank you for your review and I just wanted to confirm that I agree with you and apologise for the general awkwardness of it, I just couldn't think of a better way to do it._

_So far everyone seems to be enjoying the story! Please continue to read and review – whoever reviews any of this story will have a mention and thanks at the end of the fanfic and whoever specifically reviews this chapter get's a big hug from a currently very upset Peeta Mellark ;)_

_Keep reading! 3_


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

I can't move. I'm in the hallway of a very familiar house – similar to mine, but it isn't mine. I'm sitting on a chair, my hands are tied to the arms and my ankles are tied to the legs. It's uncomfortable, borderline painful, and I feel trapped and claustrophobic. I shout for help but there's no answer. I can hear soft breathing behind me and I strain my neck to see who it is. Imagine my shock when I see that its Peeta.

"Peeta" I call to him "Please help me. What am I doing here?"

He doesn't react. He just looks at me, his face a mix of pain and betrayal and sadness.

There's a loud bang as two people walk through the front door into the hallway. The first is Haymitch.

"Haymitch!" I cry out in relief "Help me, please." But he just looks at me in disgust and moves aside. I see that the person standing beside him is Gale.

"Hey Catnip!" Gale says cheerily, and I can feel all the blood leaving my face. I don't understand. "Your friends here told me about our little bun in the oven" he smiles – his grin is a little too big to be normal, but my eyes must be tricking me. My arms move to stretch protectively over my stomach but my restraints prevent me from doing so. "Why didn't you tell me?" Gale asks, his smile transforming into an angry grimace. "Now you're going to have to be punished."

The bonds seem to disappear as Gale grabs me by the shoulders and stands me up. He turns me around and again I shout out to Peeta who just watches his expression sad. Gale throws me to the floor and automatically my hands cover my stomach, protecting the life within. There's a blood stain on the floor next to my face and I realise that I'm in the house where It happened. I start to cry.

"Please, Gale" I sob "Please, no."

"Look how dirty you are Katniss" Gale shouts, grabbing my hair and pressing my face into the bloody carpet. All I can smell is blood and its suffocating me. "You're not worthy of me...now Prim on the other hand..." and he lets go, grinning and backing away slowly into the darkness. I try to stand, I have to stop him. I shout and scream after him but my stomach seems to grow and grow, too heavy for me to get up and I end up collapsed on the floor at Peeta's feet, sobbing Prim's name.

Suddenly Haymitch is next to me. He looks at me dead in the eye.

"Sweetheart." He says and I look up at him tearfully "I never once would have expected that from you."

I wake up with a start, sitting up quickly in my bed. It must be about 2am. There are tears running down my face and now that I'm awake I start sobbing so hard I worry that I might never stop.

It's lucky I don't still share a room with Prim – if she saw me in this state that would be the end of my secret. This isn't the first nightmare I've had either, though this is probably the worst. Usually I just relive the experience in my dreams, which is horrible but at least by now, it doesn't surprise me. This dream was full of things that were unexpected and horrifying and I can't stop thinking about it now.

I lay down in bed again. The tears are still running down my face – I don't think I could stop them if I tried – but at least I'm stopped sobbing. I hope I didn't wake my mother or Prim up. The reaping is tomorrow (or later today I suppose); I'm sure they're having nightmares of their own. I remember when I was a child and I had bad dreams my mother would stroke my hair and my father would tell me to think of something completely different and that my dreams from then on would be fine.

I try to do this now but thinking of my father just makes me sadder and I know if I go back to sleep my nightmares will include him too. I wish he was here, he would know what to do. I wonder how different my life would be with him in it now.

I roll over and close my eyes but every time I do all I see is the bloodstain I left on the carpet. Suddenly I sit up and swing my legs out of bed. I know what I need to do, and I know I need to do it now because this time tomorrow I'll be en route to the Capital.

I don't bother getting changed out of the thin, pale blue trousers and white tshirt I wear to bed. I don't even bother putting on shoes or brushing my hair, which is still in a braid from yesterday, just messier because I've been tossing and turning since 10pm. I creep out of the house and start running towards the place where It happened. I open the door quietly and gaze inside.

I haven't been here since It happened. Every time I walk past I try not to look, but I always do and I can't help remembering. I hate it. For a while I briefly considered moving back to our house in the Seam, just to avoid it but if I went, my mother and sister would come and I couldn't take the beautiful house we live in now away from them. Prim is so excited to have her own room – even though a lot of the time she sleeps in my bed with me anyway.

Looking in at the dark hallway, the bloodstain on the carpet is still there. Smaller than it was in my dream but it's there none the less. I had hoped that maybe it would have just disappeared, but the world doesn't work like that. That stuff happens in the kind of world where there is no hunger games, guys like Peeta fall for girls who actually deserve them and I don't get pregnant a week before I'm forced to participate in a battle to the death where I know I'll have to die.

I walk into the house, leaving the door open – the pane on the door is still broken anyway, so it wouldn't make much difference if I closed it – and step around the red mark on the carpet, into the kitchen. There's water here but there's no cloth so I rip off part of my tshirt, soak it in cold water and start scrubbing the floor. The red mark starts to fade a little but mostly it just spreads and I start to cry, thinking that I'll never clean it up. I jump a mile when someone standing in the doorway, someone I think much have been watching me for a while speaks my name.

"Katniss?" the man's voice breaks the silence. Is it Gale? No, he wouldn't speak to me like that anymore. It's not Peeta either.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" the man says kneeling in front of me and I see the messy blonde hair and the stubble and recognise the voice that's usually laced with the scent of alcohol. It's Haymitch.

I breathe a sigh of relief that it's not Gale through my tears, and I don't stop cleaning. I have to clean it up.

"Why?" Haymitch asks and I jump. I hadn't realised I'd spoken out loud. I look him in the eye briefly. He looks confused and I almost laugh. I suppose I would be confused if I were him too.

"It has to be cleaned before I go away." I tell him "I can't sleep knowing it's here, I just can't anymore."

"Katniss, stop." He takes my hands, stopping my scrubbing and I realise that I've been rubbing my knuckles up against the carpet, tearing the skin off. I'm just adding to the blood. I sit back and I start to cry, loud-body shaking sobs that tear past my lips to escape.

Haymitch doesn't react for a while and then he reaches across to pat me awkwardly on the back. But being here in the dark, I remember Gale holding me down and I flinch, cowering into the corner. I let out a small whimper.

Haymitch backs away, looking shocked. He looks from me, to the blood on the floor and his already-small lips become thinner as he grimaces. He gets and leaves and I know it's because I'm too bad to be around. I'm a bad person, a disgusting person and people should not be near me. I start to sob loudly again, my head in my hands and my eyes closed so tightly I can see lights exploding every time I move.

It takes me a few minutes to realise that Haymitch has returned. He's kneeling next to me with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge and I watch in disbelief as he starts scrubbing at the stain on the floor. It takes about an hour of him scrubbing and me watching with my eyes wide open, wondering if I'm dreaming before the stain has pretty much gone. Then he sits back, leaning against the wall opposite me.

"I've cleaned up plenty of sick and blood in my life." He tells me quietly "but this is the first time I've cleaned up someone else's. I think that entitles me to some answers, don't you sweetheart?"

I look at him and though I want to say no, I want to run away before he can ask me anything, I nod my head.

"Was that your blood?" He asks, and after a moment I nod again. His eyes tighten. "Does this have something to do with you and Gale and..." he gestures at my stomach. I don't react. Neither does he. The silence is deafening and he doesn't say anything to break it, he just watches me and waits and waits until I can't stand the silence any more.

"I didn't want him too!" I blurt out, tears filling my almost dry eyes "I love Peeta, and Gale made me..." I choke on the words. "It hurt, and he said he would do it to Prim if I told, and I haven't told. I've done everything he asked and now I'm having his baby and I had to hurt Peeta so that he would let me die. He has to let me die in the Games, so he can live."

Haymitch hasn't reacted through this entire speech and I start to think he never will until I see the deadly look in his eyes. An expression I've only seen on him when he wakes up from a nightmare, knife in hand ready to attack some invisible demons. It seems so out of place on his usually arrogant face, which right now looks so angry that I'm scared.

"I'm sorry." I tell him and he suddenly moves forward, making me flinch.

"Don't you dare." He tells me, his hand gentle on my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye "Don't you dare apologise. This wasn't your fault, and that is not open for debate, okay?"

I don't react. He's wrong, but as long as he's not angry with me maybe he'll listen to me and won't tell Peeta.

The next words that come out of Haymitch's mouth prove me wrong about that.

"Katniss. You have to tell Peeta." I start to protest but he cuts across me. "If you don't, I will."

_A/N_

_So what did you all think? :)  
Next chapter: The reaping_

_R&R!  
CaffinH_


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Today is the day of the Reaping.

It is hot – too hot – and the people of District Twelve stand sweating in the town square, watching us, pitying us, with machine guns aimed at them from every angle and peacekeepers watching their every move.

I asked my mother and Prim not to come. We said our goodbye's at home, though now that I'm here there's so much more I want to say, and will say once we have our allocated time to bid goodbye to our families. I didn't want them to see this – though I know they'll see it on the television tonight anyway. This time when I said goodbye, Prim didn't cry. Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged me so tight I thought she'd never let go and that I wouldn't have to willpower to make her, but then she stood tall, tucked in her little duck tail and tried to smile.

My mother did cry. She knew, unlike Prim that she wasn't just losing me. She was losing her grandchild and there was nothing that either of us could do about it.

I didn't tell her about Gale in the end. I'm sure she assumed Peeta was the father, but we didn't discuss it any further. There was no point.

I am standing alone in a small, roped off area to the right of the stage. Peeta and Haymitch stand in a similar pen on the left side. I feel like a animal waiting to killed and eaten. I glance over at the boys for comfort.

Haymitch looks at me too and grimaces. In his eyes I can still see the anger that appeared there last night when I told him about Gale, and I'm sure that he can see in my eyes the fear that's been there since it happened that he could never explain before.

Peeta looks straight ahead, solid and angry. Haymitch told me to tell him, but I can't. Hurting him is the only way I can think of to save him and when I told Haymitch that last night he didn't argue with me – either because he agreed with me or because he knew there was nothing he could say or do to change my mind. We stayed there for a while until I fell asleep and then I guess he carried me home and put me to bed, because that's where I woke up this morning.

Before going to the Reaping I made a quick detour to the house where It happened. The stain was pretty much gone and I knew I wouldn't dream about it again. I remind myself to thank Haymitch when I get chance, but right now is not the time because Effie has come out on stage and after the usual video presentation, she reaches into the bowl containing one piece of paper with my name on it and calls me forward.

"Katniss Everdeen."

I know that if anyone ever calls me by my full name again before I die that I will flinch.

I stand on stage and its almost as though I can see the crowd before me again – my mother holding Prim against her, Gale stood in the crowd staring at me with an expression on his face that once I would have interpreted as sadness and now I can't even think about it without feeling sick to my stomach.

Effie reaches into the second bowl and pulls out one of two pieces of paper. Her voice almost breaks as she calls out Haymitch's name and there's an expression on her brightly coloured face of sadness or regret that she is trying desperately to hide. Before she can even finish however, Peeta volunteers and both mine and Haymitch's eyes meet as he does.

We both knew he would, and our eyes are filled with pain as we know there's nothing we can do about it. I had hoped that his anger at me would prevent him from doing this but apparently, as angry as he is, he's still going along with his plan.

We are immediately marched by peacekeepers into the building. Thread, the head peacekeeper, meets us there and informs us with a nasty smirk that there is a new procedure. We walk straight out of the back door of the justice building and I barely have chance to take one last glimpse of it before we're driven away to the train.

This time there are no camera's on the platform, no crowd to wish us luck. Haymitch and Effie appear, also surrounded by guards and we all flinch at the unmistakable click of the train doors locking us inside before taking our seats as the train begins to move.

I'm left, sitting alone by the window, gazing after District Twelve, all the things I wanted to stay trapped behind my lips.

I stay there longer than I need to; mentally reciting my goodbyes to all the things and all the people I will miss. I know I'm not returning – there's no hope of that whatsoever so I don't try to fool myself to make me feel better. It will only make things worse.

"We can write letters, Katniss" I jump at Peeta's voice. He's still angry with me but right now his sadness has overcome his anger "We can write them letters and that way they'll have something physical to keep. A piece of us. Haymitch can deliver them if...if they need to be delivered."

I nod at him and walk silently to my room. I can't bear to look at him, trying to make me feel better when I know he's still so angry with me. I feel so guilty for everything – for telling him, for hurting him, for what happened in the first place. The thing is, I really did love him and if this had been his baby I'm carrying I would have been a lot happier than I am now, and I would have tried a lot harder to get out of the Games. But as it is, Peeta has to live and have his own children and get married-

Get married.

I forgot.

The people of the Capital are still going to expect Peeta and I to be a couple. To be an engaged couple in fact.

This day cannot get any worse.

Of course, things did get worse.

I spend most of the day in my room trying to write the letters even though I know there's no point. It'll be like when I tried to write a speech for Rue when we were on the Victory Tour. The words got stuck and they came out wrong and when I finally thought of the right words, when I read them back they seemed stupid.

By the time Effie comes to call me for dinner I'm angry and frustrated. I practically storm out of my room, throw myself into the chair and pick at my food. The meal is subdued, the silence broken only by Peeta and Effie's occasional attempt at conversation.

Haymitch is sober, though I can tell this is something he is not pleased about. Effie had them take her wine away when she saw how difficult it was for him, but it hasn't really made much of a difference for him. If he was a tribute he could drink as much as he wanted, but as it is he's sworn to help keep Peeta alive so he needs to be sober for that.

Part of me is relieved he's not drinking. Now that he knows about me, he could tell everyone if he was drunk.

"What do you think Katniss?" Effie interrupts my worrying.

"What?" I reply, slightly rudely.

"It's pardon, not what." Effie tutts at me "manners cost nothing."

I don't reply for fear I should offend her and her dumb blonde wig. Apparently it's supposed to match my Mockingjay pin – obviously she doesn't know that the mockingjay is a symbol for rebels. In the capital it's still just a pretty decoration, a reminder of a particularly exciting Hunger Games.

"Shall we watch the recap of the Reapings?" Effie suggests after the food has been cleared away and, having nothing else to do, I reluctantly follow them into the television room.

In the history of the Games there have been Seventy Five victors. Three of them are sitting in this room, one pregnant, one miserably sober and one flicking through his notes on the other victors. There are Fifty Nine victors still alive and I recognise a lot of them, either as mentors from last year's Games or from our recent viewings of past Games. As expected there are a lot more living victors from district's 1, 2 and 4 – the Career districts. By pure luck every district has at least one male and female victor.

The Reapings pass quickly. Haymitch watches apathetically as he watches his friends take the stage ready to die. Effie makes comments about different tributes and sighs a lot. Peeta rips pages out of his notebook that no longer have relevance. I just wait and see who I'm going to have to kill.

There's the beautiful brother and sister from District 1. Brutus, a volunteer from District 2 reminds me of Thresh in his size and attitude. I take a moment to be glad that at least this year there will be no young children in the games. Finnick from District 4 – with his muscular build and his handsome features he's an Adonis. He was crowned 10 years ago at the age for fourteen. I was seven at the time. A hysterical woman with long brown hair is called from District 4, before an elderly woman who must be about 80 volunteers in her place. There's Johanna Mason from District 7 – like me she's the only female victor. She won as few years back by pretending to be a weakling and then only when there were a few victors left did she reveal the ruthless killing machine she really was. A woman called Cecelia from District 8 has to detach herself from 3 young children before taking her place on the stage, eyes fixed on them the entire time. Chaff from 11, one of Haymitch's good friends is called.

Then I'm called, and Haymitch, before Peeta volunteers. The announcers get a little teary because it seems the odds will never be in our favour, before announcing that this will be the 'Best Games Ever'.

I stand up before Haymitch has chance too and leave the room, trying to hide my tears. Those announcers know absolutely nothing about what odds are in whose favour.

I wish I could lock myself in my room, but I can't. Once or twice a tribute has tried to hurt themselves before going to the arena so they removed all locks on the tributes rooms. I sit on the bed and stare miserably into space, my hand gently resting on my stomach in sadness.

I jump a mile when Peeta storms into my room, my hand quickly moving away from where it was before so as not to remind him.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I ask, alarmed.

"Katniss" I flinch as he throws himself at me. I keep thinking 'this is it. He's so angry he's going to hurt me, he can't take it any more'. And then I realise he's not hurting me, he's holding me and hugging me like there's not tomorrow. Suddenly he pulls away and looks me dead in the eye, his eyes furious.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I'm going to kill Haymitch.

**A/N**

**And finally Peeta knows! People have been requesting this chapter for a long time now and I'm sorry to disappoint most of my reviewers who thought that when Peeta found out it would lead to Gale getting his butt kicked left right and centre. But I'm mean, so that's not going to happen (yet ;) )**

**I would like to announce a competition. Everyone who reviews on this story will receive a shout out at the end of the story. However, the person who reviews the most will be awarded a 'deleted scene' so to speak. An extra chapter of the story that no one else gets to see just to say thank you for all your support and encouragement.**

**Enjoy the rest of the story!**

**CaffinH**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

I'm going to kill Haymitch.

Peeta knows. I start to hyperventilate as he starts furiously muttering about Gale.

"That worthless piece of...No, that insult's not good enough for him, he's beyond worthless." He mutters angrily "And you, you didn't tell me and I was so angry!"

"I can't breathe." I whisper but of course he doesn't hear me.

"If he was here right now I'd...I don't care what the peacekeeper say or do, I don't care about the Capitol, President Snow could be there and I wouldn't care." He rants "I'd whip the bastard myself until the whip broke. Then I'd get another whip...Katniss, are you okay?"

"I can't breathe." I repeat before the world goes black.

I wake up not much later in my bed. There's a damp cloth on my head and I feel dizzy and weak. I moan.

"Katniss?" Haymitch's voice seems to break through the darkness and suddenly I remember.

"You told him!" I sit up furiously. I sat up too quickly though and I have to pause my rant to wait for my head to stop spinning. "You-" I start to yell at him. I want to shout and scream and be angry with him. He's just killed Peeta, my Peeta. But I can't. I'm too tired and instead I just fall back onto my bed and I cry.

Haymitch sits with me for a little while before leaving. I guess I made him awkward or angry, or maybe he thought I wanted to be alone. It doesn't matter.

After a while my tears dry up and I climb out of bed. I'm not going to sleep, so I decide to go for a walk along the train. I reach the TV room and I can hear noises inside so I knock lightly, hoping it isn't Effie – as much as I've grown to like her, I don't want to have to explain this to her yet – and I walk inside.

Sitting on the couch is Peeta. He looks up at me in surprise.

"Katniss, you're awake." He gasps "I thought you'd sleep longer."

"Have I been out long?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"About half an hour, maybe a bit more." He tells me. "Why don't you go and get some sleep?"

_Because I can't handle the nightmares._

"Why don't you?" I counter and he looks at me knowingly and pats the seat next to him.

"Want to join me?" he offers.

"Why not." I reply, sitting awkwardly down beside him. We still haven't mentioned his newly learnt information. Well, I won't be the only to bring it up. "What are you doing?" I ask

"Watching the Games." He tells me. He gets up and orders some warm milk for us both from an attendant while I watch the video. I recognise it as the Games where Brutus won. Peeta returns and sits beside me, as far away as he possibly can it seems. After a moment of silence he pauses the television and turns to me.

"I'm sorry for my reaction." He tells me and I look up in surprise. Why is he sorry? "I was so angry about what he did I almost forgot that it was you he did it too."

"It's fine" I start to say but my voice quivers into silence. Peeta sighs and looks at me.

"Do...do you want to talk about it?" He offers. I shake my head immediately.

"I'm sorry" I tell him, tearing up slightly – God, what is wrong with me?! Panic attacks, hyperventilating, passing out, tearing up. Katniss, sort yourself out! "I can't. Not yet."

"It's okay." He tells me "I understand."

He holds his arms open and for a while I don't react. Then I practically throw myself into them, wrapping my arms around his neck and he pulls me close, burying his face in my hair. For the first time in a long time I'm not thinking about Gale, I'm not thinking about the Games, I'm not even thinking about being pregnant. All I'm thinking about is how safe I feel with his arms around me and the warmth of his lips where they gently touch the place on my neck, just above my shoulder. I don't want this to ever end. I want him to take me to bed, to pull the blankets over us and to hold me until we fall asleep.

That doesn't happen. Instead we jump apart as the attendant comes in with the milk. He informs us of some honey and spices he added. He looks like he wants to say more but then he leaves.

"What's up with him?" I ask Peeta, feeling slightly awkward after the first intimate moment we've had for a long time.

"I think he feels sorry for us." Peeta tells me and I sigh.

"If he only knew" I mutter under my breath, blushing when I realise Peeta heard me. He doesn't comment though, and I'm thankful for that. Instead he sits back down beside me, passes me my drink and presses play. After a while he carefully puts his arm around me and though for a second I feel panicked, I remember it's Peeta and I relax, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Who's next?" I ask once the tape finishes. Peeta shrugs.

"You decide" He tells me, passing me the box of tapes that Effie sent him. I flick through them quickly and suddenly I'm holding the only Games we haven't watched. The Fiftieth Hunger Games, second Quarter Quell. Won by our very own Haymitch Abernathy.

"We never watched this one" I say quietly.

"I know." Peeta replies "I knew Haymitch wouldn't want too. I mean, would you want to watch our Games again?"

I shake my head and continue searching through the box.

"Do we have the twenty-fifth Hunger Games?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"No. Effie only sent the one's where the Victors were still alive."

"So this is the only Quell we have?" I ask and Peeta looks at me, his eyes troubled.

"You think we ought to watch it?" He asks.

"I don't think we should" I reply honestly. It feels strange, like invading Haymitch's privacy. Although he did something similar to me by telling Peeta, I've had a while to think about it now and I know he did it with my best interests in half. It doesn't change anything, I'm going in the games with Peeta and I'm going to save him and I'm going to die trying. There's no point wasting my final days being angry with Haymitch.

"But?" Peeta brings me out of my thoughts and I continue.

"But, it's the only one we have." I reply "It might give us some tips about how it works. The smallest thing's can be the difference between life and death in the Games. What if this is one of those things?"

"Ok" Peeta agrees after a moment's silence. He puts the tape in and presses play and we both sit back and lose ourselves in the Fiftieth Hunger Games.

After the anthem, President Snow appears on screen reading the card for the second Quell. He looks younger but in no way less repulsive and I shudder. Peeta notices and puts his arm around me gently. In the same voice that implies 'this is a good thing' - except without the smile that says 'this will solve all my problems' - he reads that in honour of the Quell there will be twice as many tributes this year. Naturally the crowd in the Capital go wild and then comes the scenes of the Reapings as forty eight names are called.

By the time it gets to 12 there are tears in my eyes at the sheer number of names that have been called. So many children, younger and older than me, some Prim's age with no one to volunteer on their behalf are led up on stage and marched through the doors of death.

A woman who – like Effie – announces 'Ladies first!' before calling the name of the first tribute.

"Maysilee Donner!"

The girl is about my age. She has blond hair and she is being hugged by two other blond girls. At first I think that they're all sisters.

"I think that's your mother hugging her." Peeta tells me quietly and my eyes open with shock. He's right, and she's the spitting image of Prim.

"Yes." I tell him blankly "I remember my mother telling me the night of the Quell announcement that they were friends." I flinch remembering the other events from that night, but thankfully Peeta either doesn't notice or assumes it's because of the horror of the Hunger Games and of seeing the little girl who gave my mother her Canary being called up on stage along with another dark haired girl who must be from the scene.

Just as shocking as my mother is the girl who stands hugging her now that her older sister is up on stage.

"Madge" I mutter and Peeta nods.

"Her mother, I think."

I think of Madge's mother, wife of the mayor who spends her life in bed immobolized by pain. I'm surprised I never knew of this connection between Madge's family and mine. I stare hard at the face of the woman who once owned the mockingjay pin sitting on the desk in my room, the mockingjay that has not become a symbol for rebels everywhere. I hope that if there is life after death that she knows how important her pin has become.

"Haymitch Abernathy" the woman on screen calls. We see Haymitch, young and athletic and quite handsome though it's strange for me to admit that.

"Peeta" I suddenly gasp in horror "You don't think he killed her do you? You don't think Haymitch killed Maysilee Donner?"

"With forty eight other players?" Peeta looks doubtfully at me "It doesn't seem likely."

The chariot rides and quick and uneventful, unlike Peeta's and mine were, and then there are the interviews. Because Haymitch went on to be Victor we get to see the full interview.

Caesar Flickerman looks exactly the same as he does now – he hasn't aged a day, it's a little unnerving. Only his dark green hair, eyebrows and eyelashes signify that this happened 25 years in the past when dark green was more fashionable than the powder blue he sported when we last saw him.

"So, Haymitch, what do you think of the Games having 100% more competitors than usual?" He asks a smartly dressed apathetic looking teenage Haymitch.

"I don't see it makes much difference" He shrugs in reply. "They'll still be 100% as stupid as usual, so I figure my odds will be roughly the same."

The audience laughs as he smirks arrogantly back at them. And this is before he'd ever touched a drop of alcohol.

Then it's the morning of the Games and even Peeta and I gasp at the arena. It's a beautiful flowery meadow with the cornucopia sitting directly in the centre. An aerial shot shows that the meadow is huge, with a snowy mountain to one side and a forest on the other.

It seems the tributes are just as amazed by the meadow as we are because when the countdown is over it takes everyone a few drowsy seconds to step off their plates. Everyone that is, except Haymitch who runs forward and takes as much weapons, bags and food as he can carry before disappearing into the woods.

Eighteen are dead in the first day. There's a large career pack of around 10 who scour the snowy mountain for victims and there are a few who remain in the meadow. Everyone learns quickly that the beauty of the place does nothing except hide it's horrors. All the food there except what is in the cornucopia is poisonous. The scent of the flowers if inhales too closely will kill you and as Haymitch learns, the animals are just as deadly, even the butterflies.

Maysilee Donner does well for someone who only collected a small bag. She uses the darts she finds to kill her attackers from a distance by pre-dipping them in poison from the plants and flowers. A volcano eruption kills many people after a few days, including half the careers, but Haymitch continues to walk, his back to the mountain. Eventually he runs into three careers and he does impressively well against them – they're bigger than him but he's small and fast and he kills two of them before the third disarms him. Just before he's about to slit Haymitch's throat, he's killed by a small poisonous dart.

I watch sadly as Maysilee suggests a partnership.

Just like Peeta and I they work better together then they do apart. They survive for a while before Maysilee asks Haymitch where they're going.

"It has to end somewhere, right?" He tells her "The arena can't go on forever."

And eventually they emerge from the forest, onto a small dusty cliff. Maysilee wants to leave but Haymitch decides to stay. They agree to part ways, deciding that now there's only five of them it's the right thing to do.

Haymitch spends a while looking over the cliff. For a brief moment I wonder if he's going to kill himself until I remember he's still with us now. He kicks a stone off the side and sits down, frowning and then he jumps up again as the stone shoots back up and lands beside him.

He stares, confused momentarily before throwing a larger stone over the side and laughing when it shoots back up to land in his hand.

That's when he hears Maysilee scream.

Though I knew she had to die eventually, hearing Maysilee's screams upset me to the point that my eyes filled with tears. Seeing Haymitch run to her even though their alliance was over and no one would blame him for ignoring her make the tears over flow and run silently down my cheeks, but when he arrives – too late – to see her be skewered through the neck by a large bird, and holds her hand while she dies I start sobbing into Peeta's shirt. If he's surprised he doesn't act it, just pats my back and shushes me as he watches the other tributes die. All I can think of is Rue, and how I was too late to save her.

I emerge just in time to watch Haymitch fight the final tribute. It's a girl from district 1 who's bigger than Haymitch but just as fast and just as lethal. As predicted it's a bloody match. She loses an eye and he almost loses his stomach when she manages to slice him. When she disarms him he runs towards the cliff and falls to the floor just as she throws the axe towards him. It misses and goes over the side and she barely has chance to process that before it shoots back and buries itself in her head.

Peeta turns off the film as the last cannon sounds.

"The force field at the bottom of the cliff" He says finally "It was like the one on the roof of the training centre. Haymitch found a way to turn it into a weapon."

"Bet the Capital weren't too impressed by that." I say and I laugh. I cover my mouth – I can't laugh at that, it's so inappropriate – but then Peeta laughs too and I let myself smile with him. For the first time in forever, I laugh with someone. I laugh because Haymitch got one up on the Capital, and I laugh because I finally feel like I know Haymitch Abernathy, and I laugh because I know that surely, two people who have caused so much trouble for the Capital can think of a way to bring Peeta home alive.

**A/N**

**Hi guys!**

**I have a lot of things to discuss today :)**

**I've had many angry complaints about my cliffhanger ending last week. I'm sorry I did that to you guys and I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I have to say though; I'm really pleased with all the reviews I got for my last chapter. I'll have to keep up the work!**

**I'm sorry that this chapter is so similar to the book. This is an important scene in Catching Fire and even though I know everyone already knows it, I couldn't leave it out. Sorry for the repetition but I hope I made it interesting enough! The next chapter may be similar to the book as well but I PROMISE I'll make it up to you guys.**

**Also, sorry for the lack of the pregnancy/rape discussion in this chapter. This was meant to be more about Katniss and Peeta sharing a moment and to progress in the story and there wasn't much place to discuss the pregnancy at the minute. It will be discussed plenty in the future though, I swear :)**

**I would like to thank Leli77 for her MANY reviews in order to get the prize at the end. Glad you're all so enthusiastic! It made my day :D**

**To all the people I've encouraged to hate Gale – I hope you don't mean Suzanne Collin's character! Just to clear it up, I don't hate the real Gale, but I'm pleased that I've been able to take a loved-by-many-character and make him into a villain in my story. Also, I'm not telling anyone who the father is :P You'll have to wait and see ^^**

**To Alec: You've reviewed on a few of my chapters now with constructive criticism and I seriously thank you so much for the time you've put into not only reading the story but offering ways to improve it. I took your advice in this chapter and will continue to do so in future chapters and you were totally right. Nitpicking is great for any aspiring writer, so thank you and I hope you keep reading :D **

**Also, thank you to PinkJewelDistrict12 for her review letting me know your favourite line. I thought you'd like to know it was my favourite line too – So out of curiosity, what are everyone's favourite lines?**

**To – yeah, I know I have to put a lot of fillers in, in fact this chapter is mostly a filler but once this part of the story is over which I'm judging to be in the next 5 chapter (max) then it'll all be pretty much my work and less like Catching Fire so a lot less fillers.**

**So hope you guys are still enjoying, please continue to read and review and keep in mind that every review I get makes my day a little bit brighter so thank you to every single one of my readers :)**

**CaffinH**


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Prep with Flavius, Venia and Octavia is beyond the usual hellish experience it usually is. Every five minutes one or all of them burst into tears. Once Octavia start's there's pretty much a running whimper all the way through the ordeal. Just the crying makes preparing me twice as long as normal and then when Flavius points out that the clothes they pre-prepared for me are a little tight I have to wait for another hour while I'm measured and it's arranged for my clothes to be adjusted. While all this is going on I look down at myself, hands on stomach. I don't look any bigger – my clothes have been a little tighter on me since I stopped throwing up every morning (although I still feel nauseas almost all the time). I start to panic, wondering if it's obvious, if President Snow will know and then I realise it won't make any difference at all. No one has been excluded from the Games in the past; I highly doubt that I will be because of this. And more importantly, I don't want to be. I will not let myself be sad about my baby. I can't afford too.

But it does make me sad and when Venia starts sobbing as she sends off the re-adjustments for my chosen wedding dress I start sobbing. I'm so tired and so emotional all the time and I just can't hold it in any more. All of my team start sobbing around me as they envelop me in their strangely coloured and decorated arms and we all cry together for a while. I feel guilty for thinking that they were only upset because now they were losing their ticket into this season's biggest social events – namely my wedding. They seem to have becomes genuinely attached to me and the idea of me returning into the arena undoes them.

I quickly remind myself that I have to be strong and somehow it ends up me comforting them. Due to the fact that it is me and my unborn child heading towards to slaughter house, this annoys me slightly. All these different emotions are confusing and irritating – going from fine and then irritated then sad then guilty the annoyed again, it's exhausting.

I think back on what Peeta said about the attendant on the train feeling sorry for us and I realise that the people of the Capital will be genuinely sad to see us die. I'm sure none of that will matter once the countdown is over and we're allowed to step off our metal plates, but for now it's strange to know that so many people we don't know care about our wellbeing. You know, before they force us to fight to the death.

By the time Cinna arrives I am irritable and nervous. I know I have to tell him about the baby – not only because he's responsible for making my clothes fit me, but because out of everyone here in the Capital I know he's my friend and I need to talk to him about this. That, coupled with the exhaustion and mood swings, the first thing I say to him when he walks in is "I swear to god if you cry, I'll kill you myself."

"Damp morning?" Cinna replies and then frowns looking at his watch "Well, day I should say."

"You could just wring me out." I tell him and to both his and my surprise I throw myself into his arms. He pats my back soothingly and to my surprise I can feel tears in my eyes.

"I can't be dealing with that again." I tell him when what I really want to say is thank you. I'm going to miss you. You've been a great friend to me.

"I know" Cinna replies, replying to all the words I left unspoken as well as what I said out loud "I'll talk to them. You'll be pleased to know that I channel all my emotions into my work. That way no one gets hurt but me."

Lunch makes me feel a bit better. The food here is so beautiful – the miniature vegetables swimming in butter is my favourite. For dessert we dip fruit into a pot of melted chocolate but I eat more chocolate than fruit. Cinna ends up ordering another pot which I don't complain about at all.

When he finally persuades me to stop eating, I ask Cinna what we're going to wear to the opening ceremony.

"Headlamps or fire?" I ask, knowing it has to be coal related.

"Something along those lines." He tells me with a wink.

I panic slightly when the prep team come back in to help Cinna get me ready for the opening ceremony, but he sends them away saying they've done such a good job there's nothing left for them to do. I squeeze his hand thankfully.

He spends a long time putting my hair up in the same braided style my mother introduced him too.

"Your hair's grown quickly" he comments and I nod. This is it, the perfect opportunity to tell him I'm pregnant but then I don't. Why make him sadder than he already is? Its best just to let him lose me then lose me and my child.

I'm surprised by the amount of makeup Cinna paints on my face this year. Last time he used very little – he wanted me to be recognisable in the arena. This year I barely recognise myself. Dark, high arching eyebrows, sharp and defined cheekbones, smouldering eyes and deep purple lips. My outfit is deceptively simple at first – just a plain black jumpsuit that covers me from head to toe, and half a crown, like the one I received when I was crowned Victor, except this one is black and angry looking rather than gold.

Cinna adjusts the light in the room to resemble twilight before pressing a button on the inside of my left sleeve. He stands me in front of a mirror and I admire his work. The fabric glows red and orange and yellow. I look exactly like coal in a fire looks, like a burning ember that's fallen from the fireplace. Coupled with the hair and makeup I don't look like a little innocent girl any more, or a woman even. I look as though I belong in the volcano from Haymitch's arena.

"I think...this is just what I need to face the others." I tell Cinna, suddenly terrified now that I'm about to see the other tributes for the first time. This is nothing like last year when all I had to fear was the careers. Everyone here is a ruthless killing machine and now I look like one too. I know that the girl on fire can protect Peeta, even if Katniss can't.

"Yes, I think your days of pink lipstick and ribbons are behind you" Cinna laughs as I breathe a sigh of relief. He turns off the suit. "On the chariot, no smiling and waving like last year. I just want you to look straight ahead as if the audience are beneath you."

"Finally" I joke "Something I'm good at."

Cinna announces that he has a few things to do and suggests that I should go down to the chariots and wait. I follow his advice and it isn't until I'm outside the doors that I realise I'm about to meet 22 of the most dangerous people in Panem. I stand tall and I take a deep breath, pushing open the door.

Tonight, I will be one of them.

**A/N**

**With all the wonderful reviews I've been getting I thought I'd treat you all to an early update. Sorry this chapter isn't as long as usual, and possibly not the most interesting chapter either.**

**Next chapter – meeting Finnick! I know a lot of you are interested in that :) I'm going to try and make a few chapters of the book into 1 or 2 chapters of this so as not to bore you too much before the BIG TWIST ;) enjoy!**


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

The victors are standing around in small groups talking. This is very unlike last year where people were glued to their chariots, staring around in amazement, awe and terror, sizing up other tributes...this scene is very social. I walk quickly to my chariot and start softly brushing one of our horses, trying not to be noticed. Of course, this doesn't work.

I jump at a crunching sound and spinning around I find myself face to face with the handsome Finnick Odair himself. His sea-green eyes which are so much like the sea in District four are inches away from mine. I watch as he pops a sugar cube in his mouth, feeds another one to the horse (the source of the crunching) and smirks at me.

"Hello Katniss." He greets me as though we're old friends when in fact we've never seen each other before. Not in person at least.

"Finnick" I nod casually, even though my heart is pounding. I'm very uncomfortable with his proximity – especially considering his lack of clothing – and I back away slightly, using brushing the horse's back as an excuse. The last thing I need is for Peeta to turn up and see me inches away from a half naked Poseidon, especially considering his jealousy of Gale. I mean, the jealousy and anger at Gale is understandable now but Peeta was jealous before there was a reason.

"Want a sugar cube?" Finnick offers me one from his palm which is piled high "They're meant to be for the horses but the way I see it is they have their entire lives to eat sugar while we...well, when we see something sweet we've got to grab it while we can." He smirks at me and I blush at the hidden flirtatious context behind his casual words.

"No thanks." I reply, trying to sound laid-back when in fact my heart is thudding so hard in my chest I think I might collapse. I don't want any men – especially half naked flirtatious men – this close to me. I put more distance between us. "I'd love to borrow your outfit though." I comment, thinking maybe this will get him talking about the subject that ridiculously handsome people usually can't wait to talk about – themselves – and therefore not talk about me. Finnick is covered in a very strategically placed golden net – apparently his stylist thinks the more people see of Finnick, the better.

"You're absolutely terrifying in that get-up." He replies. I blush slightly – out of everything he's said tonight this is the first time I take his words as a compliment. "What happens to the pretty little-girl dresses?"

"I outgrew them." I reply bluntly.

_Please go away..._

"It's a shame about this Quell thing." Finnick tells me "You could have made out like a bandit in the Capital. Jewels, money, anything you wanted." As he does this he reaches forward and lightly traces the collar of my costume. In my mind I flash back to Gale biting me there and I visibly flinch, backing away quickly. Finnick notices and watches me through narrowed, suspicious eyes.

"I don't like jewels, and I have more than enough money." I stutter, trying to focus on the horse. Anything but him. I feel faint again. "What do you spend all your money on, Finnick?" get the conversation back to him and maybe he'll stop focusing on me for five minutes and give me a chance to sort my head out.

"Oh, I haven't dealt in anything as common as money for years." Finnick scoffs and I look at him in surprise.

"Then how are you paid for the pleasure of your company?" I ask, eyebrow raised.

"With secrets." He says softly. Suddenly he leans in so that his lips are barely a centimetre away from mine and I can taste his breath. "What about you girl on fire?" he whispers seductively "Do you have any secrets worth my time?"

I gasp and in my hurry to back away from him I trip over my own feet and fall to the floor with a loud thud. Finnick looks at me in surprise, as does everyone else in the room.

"Katniss?" Peeta suddenly appears beside me. He's out of breath – he must have run.

"I tripped!" I practically shout at him in panic. I don't want him to know how scared I was. Am.

Peeta seems to be fine with my explanation but narrows his eyes when I flinch as Finnick offers me his hand. After a moment, realising if I didn't accept it everyone in the room would know something was going on, I take it. His hand is warm and soft and he pulls me upright easily, proving his strength.

"Sorry." He says to me quietly and then coughing awkwardly when he sees Peeta's surprised expression he announces "Sorry you have to cancel your wedding. I know how devastating that must be for you." He casually tosses another sugar cube in his mouth before wandering off. As Peeta comes quickly to my side the chatter in the room resumes – although I'm not sure if it's just me being self-conscious after my little display or if I'm not imagining it, I can still feel everyone's eyes on me.

"What did Finnick Odair want?" Peeta asks quietly. He's dressed almost identically to me and it suits him.

"He offered me a sugar cube and wanted to know all of my secrets." I reply in my best seductive voice though I'm very aware that I can't stop shaking. Peeta notices this too and though he forces a laugh for the sake of the audience, his eyes look worried.

"Do you think we would have ended up like this if only one of us had won?" Peeta distracts me, looking around the room.

"Oh yes." I reply honestly "Especially you."

"Why is that?" Peeta asks me, surprised.

"You have a weakness for beautiful things" I reply, smiling at him. "I don't. They would lure you into their Capital ways and you'd be lost entirely." I try not to show him how sad this makes me feel.

"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as weakness." Peeta insists. "except possibly when it comes to you." He smiles at me and for a long moment I am lost. While the anthem blares and we clamber into the chariot and we act above the audience and listen to President Snow's speech, all I see in my mind is that smile.

Maybe I also have a weakness for beautiful things.

**A/N**

**Bit of a soppy chapter, but I thought it was important to show how differently Katniss acts, not only because of the pregnancy but because of the rape. Hope you enjoyed, I've had a few lovely reviews over the past few days :D**

**I'm sorry the story seems a little dull at the minute. The action is coming though, I swear!**

**Please review!**

**CaffinH**


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

I'm woken up by a loud bang as my prep team walk loudly barge into my bedroom. Rolling over I groan in annoyance and then stare at them as they stare at me in shock. It takes me a few minutes to realise they're staring because sitting up beside be, yawning loudly is Peeta. Walking in on us sleeping together is apparently the last straw for Octavia because she bursts into tears and is asked to leave by Venia. Peeta is also asked to leave to go and meet his own prep team and I barely hold back a whimper as he lets go of my hand and blows me a kiss before leaving. Yesterday on the roof was such a lovely wonderful day. After this week's training and with Haymitch and Effie being so angry with us both for the acts that earned us each a score of 12 for the first time in Hunger Games history – essentially painting a target on our backs – it was wonderful to just have a full day to ourselves. We didn't do much – in fact, we didn't do anything. It was paradise.

But now back to real life where I'm woken early and torn unwillingly from the arms of the man I love whom I may not have that much time left with to be pampered by my prep team and prepared for tonight's interview. I'm looking forward to it even less than last year I think.

For the first time since we've met there is little chatter coming from my prep team. In fact unless it's to discuss a makeup technique or to ask me to move, there's no conversation at all. It isn't until I feel something damp dripping down my shoulder than I turn to look at Flavius who is cutting my hair with silent tears running down his face. After a look from Venia, he puts down the scissors and leaves, leaving me with a silent Venia and my thoughts.

I try to think about anything other than my prep teams emotional outbursts today. I wish they weren't so upset, because this is the last time I'll see them. I'm surprised by how sad that makes me feel – though I won't miss all the constant chatter about things I care very little or not at all about, or the different hair and body and facial treatments and makeup techniques, I've grown fond of the team and it saddens me to think my last memories of them are so sad.

I think about how training has been this year in comparison to last year. I made friends with Beetee and Wiress this year – nuts and volts and Johanna so crudely names them. I also got to know Mags – the elderly woman who volunteered for the hysterical woman in District Four. Finnick apologised for scaring me and while I insisted to him that I wasn't scared at the time I think he saw through that to my embarrassment and disappointment. After spending more time with him (though not alone, Peeta was always there) I feel much better around him and more comfortable.

Cinna enters the room, breaking my thoughts and I smile at him. He greets me and then compliments Venia's work before letting her know she can leave. She heads towards the door with an air of what can only be described as relief before pausing to mine and Cinna's surprise.

"We would all like you to know what a...privilege it has been to make you look your best." She announces with an air and attitude as strong as any victor, before hastening from the room. It's certain from her last words that she's knows I won't be returning. Does the whole world know? Does Peeta know? I look at Cinna. Does he know? Surely he must. But true to his word, there's no danger of tears from him.

"So what am I wearing tonight?" I ask, smiling tightly as though I haven't just been having an internal discussion with myself regarding my imminent death.

"President Snow put in the order himself." Cinna tells me, his voice cold and angry but it's not directed at me. When he opens the bag I understand why. Inside is one of the wedding dresses I wore for the photo shoot just after the Victory Tour. Before any of this happened when I was going to be Peeta's wife and I didn't even mind.

"Even though they announced the Quarter Quell the night of the shoot people still voted for their favourite." Cinna tells me "This was the winner. The President said you're to wear it tonight – out objections were ignored."

I fight back tears of hatred and sadness. What will this do to Peeta? To my mother and sister back home who will watch me walk out on stage as the beautiful bride I will never be. This is barbaric.

"It would be a shame to waste such a pretty dress." I choke out. Cinna pats my shoulder sympathetically before helping me into the gown. He frowns as he struggles to button it up.

"You've put on weight Katniss" He comments. He doesn't mean it in an offensive way, and even if he did I wouldn't have taken it as offensive. I'm far too busy panicking and offering my thanks to whatever God may be up there that this is happening before I develop a prominent baby bump. Thank God that there are only a few people who will know that they aren't only losing me in the Games tomorrow. The less people, the better.

"Was it always this heavy?" I complain as the dress settles on my shoulders. I remember all the dresses being quite dense but I don't remember this one being quite so heavy.

"I had to make some slight alterations." Cinna tells me and I nod. He finishes doing up the dress, touches up my makeup, has me walk in the heels and finally places the crowned veil on my head and I have to stop myself crying again. This is something my father should be doing one day. And as my father isn't here, Cinna would probably be the next logical choice to walk me down the aisle – either him or Haymitch. Probably Cinna because Haymitch would more than likely fall over.

This memory makes me giggle slightly and Cinna smiles at me, surprised but unquestioning before looking me up and down.

"You're ravishing." He tells me "Now Katniss, because this bodice is so fitted I don't want you raising your hands above your head. Not until you twirl at least."

"I'm going to be twirling again?" I ask and Cinna nods.

"I'm sure Caesar will ask you too." He tells me "And if he doesn't, suggest it yourself. Just not straight away, save it for your big finale."

"Just give me the signal." I smile and he nods.

"Alright. Do you have a plan for the interview? I know Haymitch just let you two get on with it yesterday."

"Nope." I reply "Today I'm just winging it. And the funny thing is, I'm not nervous at all."

And I'm not. At least, not until I walk into the room to wait with the other tributes and the room goes silent as they all take in the appearance of me in my wedding dress. Everyone is staring at me – in jealousy? Anger? Admiration? I'm not sure. The only expression I am sure of is Peeta's. He's gazing at me in awe and amazement and pure, undisguised sadness and regret. He's waiting in a smart tuxedo – something they wear to get married here in the Capital. At home it's simpler, women just wear a rented white dress and the men wear whatever's clean that isn't a miners uniform. The ceremony itself isn't important – it's the toasting that matters. The bride and groom toast a bit of bread and eat it together. Without the toasting, you're not really married in District 12.

"I can't believe Cinna put you in that thing." Finnick comments.

"He didn't have a choice." I reply bluntly, trying to defend Cinna while at the same time showing people that I am just as unhappy as they are about it. "President Snow made him."

"Well you look ridiculous." Chashmere tosses her flowery hair and storms off. I roll my eyes – I killed both Glimmer and Marvel from her district last year. She probably knew and mentored at least one of them. We were never going to get along.

Johanna Mason steps forward as conversation slowly resumes and straightens my pearl necklace.

"Make him pay for it. Okay?" she tells me. I nod but I have no idea what she means until we're all sitting on stage with a lavender themed Caesar Flickerman and the tributes begin their interviews. Other than the odd few (mainly Enobaria and Brutus), a deep sense of betrayal is radiating from the words of every tribute.

But the way they get that betrayal across in their light hearted conversation is so clever and smart because it all reflects on the government and President Snow. Cashmere starts by discussing how she can't stop crying when she thinks of how much the people of the Capitol will miss them and how much they must be suffering, before introducing her brother Gloss who recalls the happy memories of the Capitol kindness shown to him and his sister. Beetee questions the legality of the Quell while Finnick reads a love poem he wrote, dedicated to his one true love and 90% of the female population faint thinking he means them. Johanna Mason asks if something can be done about the situation as surely the creators of the Quarter Quell never anticipated such love forming between the Capitol and it's victors and how could they be so cruel as to sever such a bond? Seeder suggests that if the President is as all-powerful as he claims why he didn't just change the Quell and Chaff continues right on her heels by insisting that the President could change the Quell if he wanted too, but must not think it matters much to people.

By the time I walk out on stage in my beautiful bridal gown voted best by the Capitol the audience is a wreck. There is even calling for change and for a second I wonder if maybe, just maybe I could still be alive for more than a few days. For a second I even let myself picture the world where I could bring up the life inside me along with Peeta, my Peeta.

By the time Caesar has quietened down the audience a lot of my three minutes are gone.

"So, Katniss." He begins, stress beginning to seep through his professionalism. "Obviously this is a very emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"Only that I'm sorry you won't be at my wedding." I say, my voice trembling obviously. "But I'm glad you at least get to see me in my dress. Isn't it just the most beautiful thing?" I don't have to look at Cinna for the signal – I know this is the right time. I twirl quickly and for a second as I spin I imagine I'm spinning away from all of this.

I stop when I hear the screams of the Capitol and I notice that I'm surrounded by smoke. From fire. Not fake fire that I wore last year at the chariot rides but something real that devours my dress. Pearls clatter to the stage as bits of blackened silk fly away and the smoke thickens. I panic – is this Cinna's last gift to me? Killing me by burning me alive on the Capitol stage so that I won't have to be brutally murdered in the arena?

Then all at once the fire is gone and I wonder if the dress has completely burnt away, leaving me naked.

But I'm not naked. I'm wearing a dress of the exact design except its black as coal and made of tiny feathers. I life my long flowing sleeves into the air in wonder and that's when I see myself on the giant screen.

Cinna has turned me into a mockingjay.

"Feathers." Ceasar sais "You're like a bird." The audience is still staring in amazement.

"A mockingjay I think" I inform him "It's the bird on the pin I wear as a token from my district."

A shadow of recognition flashers across Caesar's face and in that second I know everything. I know he understands that the mockingjay isn't just my token. That it isn't just a flashy costume change. That it's a rebel symbol. That Cinna did this on purpose and that my dear friend will pay for this.

"Well hats off to your stylist." He says after a moment, professional and charming as always "I don't think anyone can argue that that's the most spectacular thing we've ever seen in an interview. Cinna, come on up and take a bow."

As Cinna rises I feel an urge to tackle him off the stage, to hide him in the many feathers of this dress and protect him. My Cinna. I'm afraid he has hurt himself beyond repair but one glance at the expression on his face tells me he understands perfectly what he's done.

The audience breaks into wild applause as the buzzer signalling that my three minutes are up sounds and Caesar thanks me for my time before gesturing for me to leave. I stare at Peeta as he passes but he doesn't look at me. He looks down at the groud.

Something's wrong.

I sit down with the other tributes and I watch Peeta. I watch him and Caesar's amazing talent together as they greet each other as old friends. I watch in confusion as Peeta miserably and angrily tells the world that we are already married and explains about the District 12 toasting. I watch in horror as Peeta tells the Capitol how upset he is about this and why.

"Surely even a brief time is better than no time?" Caesar asks, taken aback by Peeta's misery.

"Maybe I'd think that too Caesar." Peeta replies bitterly "If it weren't for the baby."

He's done it. He's lit the fuse that the other tributes have spent the entire interview building and the bomb goes off successfully in the audience. Accusations and tears fly everywhere from the Capitol-loving, Games-hungry audience and everyone stares at the one person who is completely and utterly horrified at what Peeta has told the world.

Me.

My face shines up on the screen, my eyes tearful and wide, my mouth open in astonishment and horror.

Peeta told them I am pregnant.

**A/N**

**Again, nothing unexpected there – very much like the book. This was going to be a few chapters but my reviewers have seemed quite frustrated with the lack of action lately so I decided to speed things up a little. The next chapter will be quite different from the book so keep an eye out!**

**Much loves**

**CaffinH**


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

By the time Peeta has returned to me I am furious. He's ruining everything! There's no way in hell the Capitol are going to let me out of the Games just because I'm pregnant, and now my little sister watching at home with my mother knows I'm pregnant and will have to lose her niece as well as her sister.

How dare he.

Before I have chance to shout at him though, the anthem of Panem blares loudly across the stage and I remember that I'm still on display. Peeta takes advantage of this to take my hand although he can clearly see how furious I am with him. Tears run down his face and for a moment I break, squeezing his hand lightly before wiping them away with my other hand. I've got so little time left, I can't spend it being angry. Instead I spontaneously turn and offer Chaff my hand. After a moment he takes it and then it happens. Twenty Four people. Twenty Four Victors or Twenty Four Tributes, depending on how you look at it all hold hands standing in a row across the Capitol. A united front between the districts for the first time since the war. Some of them are clutching on for dear life to the others, proof that no matter how many Hunger Games you win you will always be scared once again in your life. Others are simply caught up in the moment like Brutus and Enobaria. And some, like Peeta and I, like Mags and Finnick, Beetee and Wiress, Johanna and Seeder and Chaff stand tall. A living, breathing wall holding President Snow away.

And in the confusion they don't cut the cameras in time. Everyone sees and suddenly there's disarray on the stage as well as the lights go out. I lose Chaffs hand quickly but I hold onto Peeta's for dear life. He seems to be guiding me towards the elevators but suddenly I'm grabbed on either side by an unknown number of arms and I'm dragged away from Peeta. I hear him call my name in confusion and then panic and I cry out to him before I'm dragged away into another room, far away from Peeta, far away from District 12, far away from anyone.

No matter how much I struggle and fight the arms holding me don't let go so eventually I give up and let them drag me wherever they want to take me. After about a year's marching (or so it seems) I'm thrown into an uncomfortable metal chair. My arms are strapped down, as are my legs and then someone turns on the lights.

I grimace in pain, shutting my eyes against the brightness of the room. It's a plain white room with just the chair I'm sitting in and a table covered in various medical-looking equipment in front of me. Upon seeing a particularly nasty looking scalpel-like-object I turn as white as the room and almost pass out. Are they going to torture me? They wouldn't, not the day before the Games. Or maybe President Snow has simply given up on the pretence of the Games and he's finally just going to slaughter me mercilessly.

_Don't be so silly Katniss _I tell myself, shaking my head. A few strands of my hair fall loose and I struggle against the bonds. Resistance is apparently futile and I fall back against the chair breathing heavily. It was silly of me to think that I was here to be tortured by the President – I almost laugh at the thought.

This is the moment that the door opens and the President himself walks in.

I gasp and don't bother to try and hide how terrified I am. I was right, he is going to kill me. He's going to torture and break me beyond repair before killing me and blaming it on something ridiculous like a suicide attempt or an unfortunate accident. No one will see through it, least of all my family – Peeta included in that.

Peeta. I miss Peeta. And Primrose, and my mother and Cinna. I even miss Haymitch. I'd give anything to see his goofy sarcastic alcohol-fuelled grin right now.

"Good evening Miss Everdeen." The President says quietly and somehow this is more terrifying than if he'd just come in and started slicing with the scalpel.

"President Snow." I reply, trying to sound confident. I don't think it works because the President merely smirks at me. The scent of blood and roses fills the air and again I feel faint remembering that the scent of blood seemed to come from his lips when I met him last.

"You seem to have us all in quite a pickle." The President tells me, flicking a small bit of dust from his impeccably clean suit.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply angrily, struggling again against the bonds of my chair.

"Oh I don't believe that for a second." He smiles at me. "I thought we agreed not to lie to each other?" he smirks and I glare at him.

"Do you really think I knew that would happen?" I blurt out angrily "it was your idea!"

"Whatever do you mean Miss Everdeen?" The President glares at me from underneath his snowy eyebrows.

"The riot." I tell him in exasperation. Why does he have to play these games? "You were the one who insisted on the dress, how was I supposed to know it would upset them so much?"

"The dress." The President stands and looks me up and down in distaste "Indeed." He walks over the door and knocks on it a few times. Another man enters. He is dressed smartly and colourfully as is Capitol tradition, other than his white coat. He looks like I'd imagine a scientist or a doctor to look. He doesn't look at me or the President, he just walks over to the table and starts selecting various instruments. I whiten again.

"If you torture me I won't be able to play your Games." I exclaim to the President who looks at me in surprise. Then he looks up at the high white ceiling and laughs, the smell of blood becoming sickeningly strong in the room.

"As if I would torture you in such a medieval way." He replies and although his words suggest that there will be worse torture to come I can't help but feel relief that I'm not about to be cut into little pieces by this strange man in his white coat.

The man comes forward with a needle and he takes some blood. I flinch slightly, but am surprised when it hurts no more than when they prick your finger at the Reaping every year.

"What do you want with that?" I ask him angrily but he doesn't answer. He completely ignores me and starts fiddling with the vial of blood, doing something to it that I can't see though I strain against my bonds in my attempt. The room is silent other than my breathing which seems too loud to be polite in the company of these people. After less than five uncomfortable minutes the man turns to President Snow and nods.

"It's positive." He says and I stop struggling. It was a pregnancy test. What does this have to do with my baby? "Too fat along to abort." He adds and I feel a sudden urge to tear off his tiny little head.

"So you are pregnant." The President looks at me irately. "I was sure it was just a ruse."

"What, to get out of the Games?" I ask, rolling my eyes "there are no rules that expel you from the Games, not even pregnancy. Is there?" I ask, suddenly scared. If I don't go into the arena, I can't protect Peeta and I'll be forced to live my life taking care of the baby that I know every time I look at I'll see Gale's evil face laughing back at me.

The President simply looks at me, his face void of emotion and then he leaves, along with the man in the white coat. I struggle again for a while until suddenly the room fills with peacekeepers that hold me still while one of them injects a clear liquid into my veins. The bright white room seems to become many colours as I slowly fade into unconsciousness. Even though I try to fight it I'm asleep in seconds, dreaming of blood and roses.

**A/N**

**Very short chapter in comparison to the last one, but unlike the last one this one is totally original, nothing to do with the story (Obviously other than the fact that the stories and their characters belong to Suzanne Collins). I put this up today along with the other chapter because it's so short while Chapter 17 was mostly stuff you'd already read. Hope you enjoyed!**

**R&R, let me know what you all think :)**

**CaffinH**


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

When I wake up my head is throbbing and it takes me a while to remember everything.

I'm Katniss Everdeen. I have a mother and a sister at home in District 12. I'm in love with Peeta Mellark, the bakers son. My best friend had sex with me and now I'm pregnant. And today I will go into the Hunger Games and I will die to save the life of the one I love.

It's a terrible summary of my life, but it's all I can seem to focus on. I glance at the clock, groaning when I see how little time is left before the Games begin. I sit up and my head swims and I feel nauseas. I'm not sure if this is a pregnancy thing or a side effect of whatever Snow drugged me with last night.

Oh well. Even with morning sickness and mood swings, I've had the advantage of a full night's sleep over the other tributes. I'd bet money that after last night and with the Games today that no one slept properly. Except me that is.

I leave my room, planning to find Peeta and talk to him before we're thrown into the arena, but as I do Cinna walks in. He looks at me and I look back at him and in that moment I know we're both suddenly terrified for each other. I'm scared for him after what he did to my dress – I know the president will not let Cinna get away with it. And he's terrified for me because he knows I'm going to die soon. That this is the last time I'll be outside the arena. And now he knows I'm pregnant.

"Is it true?" He asks and I just look at him. I neither confirm nor deny – this way if he doesn't get killed he can keep hold of that one small bit of comfort that I never validated Peeta's announcement last night. He looks at me, at my stubborn jaw and thin lips and he knows I'm not going to answer him, but he doesn't argue. He just takes my arm and accompanies me to the roof where there's a hover craft waiting. I keep an eye out for Peeta but there's no chance of seeing him, the tributes go into the arena alone. That's the way it's always been.

"I didn't say goodbye to Portia." I remember suddenly, looking up at Cinna.

"I'll tell her." He promises as I place my hands on the ladder and the electric current freezes me in place and holds me there until the tracker is placed into my arm.

I stare out of the windows until they black out. Cinna tries to persuade me to eat but I refuse, so he pushes me to drink. I start to refuse that too – my stomach seems to be filled with wriggling snakes – but then I remember those first few days of dehydration during the last Games and I drink as much as I can without throwing up. I focus on how I'll need my strength to keep Peeta alive.

The next few hours pass in a blur. We reach the launch room, I shower and Cinna braids my hair down my back in my trademark Katniss Everdeen style. He dresses me in a pair of black trousers and a light green shirt and a jacket. I examine the clothes intently before asking Cinna what he thinks.

"I'm not sure." He replies, frowning in confusion "It doesn't look or feel any different to regular material, which is unusual for the Games. Oh, I almost forgot." Cinna carefully pins my mockingjay pin to my shirt and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Remember Girl on Fire" he smiles briefly "I'm still betting on you."

He holds my hand and we wait for the countdown. When it starts I look at him, suddenly terrified and he kisses my forehead. He doesn't need to say anything, that simple fatherly gesture is all I need from him.

And suddenly there are a million things I want to say and do. I want to run away. I want to have my baby – even if it is the result of a horrific experience – and bring him or her up. Teach them to read and write. Show them how to shoot. Educate them in how to live in the wild. I want to see Primrose again, my little duck. I want to see her grow into the nurse she seemed destined to be last time I saw her. I want to see if she's grown much in the past week. I can't believe it's only been a week.

I want to hug Peeta and kiss him and tell him I love him and that I want to marry him and have his children and live happily ever after with him. I want to find out if Haymitch ever stops drinking, I want him to be at my wedding and say "Sweetheart, go get him" in that sarcastic tone of voice as I walk to the justice building. I want to see my mother again and tell her that I forgive her for all those years after father died, and that I love her and that I want her to look after me again and sing to me and read me stories. I want to go to my father's grave, or to the lake house and feel close to him again.

I want to find out if Bonnie and Twill ever got to District 13, and if they did what they found. I want to live to see the Hunger Games finished, to see President Snow dead and buried and covered in the roses he loves so much.

And Cinna. I want to tell him how much like a father he's been to me this past year. How much I truly love him just as I love my mother and Haymitch. I want to hold onto him forever.

But more than any of that I want Peeta to go home. I want him to find a beautiful girl and be happy with her and have his own children who he'll teach to paint and make bread. And every now and again I'm sure he'll think of me, and I hope with fondness. But as long as he's happy I don't care if he never once thinks of me after I'm gone.

And knowing that makes it almost easy to let go of Cinna. There are tears in my eyes as I step into the tube which closes around me. Cinna looks at me from the other side of the tube, his eyes watering too and I smile at him, a smile which I hope tells him everything I've ever wanted to say to him.

And then the door behind him bursts open and three peacekeepers run into the room. Two of them hold Cinna's arm behind his back while the third hits him in the temple with such force Cinna falls to the ground with a grunt that's muffled by the tube. I cry out and slam my hands against the circular walls that trap me and stop me from saving him as the Peacekeepers hit him with metal-studded gloves, opening painful looking gashes in his face and body. I scream at them and curse but they either can't hear me or don't care – probably the latter – and they drag Cinna's limp body from the room. I stare in horror at the trail of blood across the floor where minutes ago Cinna held me in my arms and told me that he would always be betting on me.

I feel the plate begin to rise and I know there's nothing I can do but be brave and carry on with my plan. I wipe the tears from my face, knowing that even one moment of weakness will give the other tributes advantage over me, and besides, I can't bear the satisfaction of letting President Snow see what he's done to me. I force myself to straighten up, and just in time because the glass retreats and I take a deep breath before looking around at the arena.

Except I'm not in the arena.

I'm standing on a stage and all I can hear is thunder. Well, what I think is thunder is actually deafening applause and I look around to see what must be every citizen of the Capitol watching me and cheering from the stands that surround the stage I'm standing on.

"Katniss!" I hear a scream and I turn to see my mother being held by peacekeepers. Tears are running down her cheeks as she pushes past the guards and runs towards me. I catch her in my arms as she cries against me and force her to look at me.

"Mother!" I shout, trying to make myself heard over the shouts of the audience "What are you doing here? What's going on? Where's Prim?"

"Citizens of Panem" I hear a booming voice and I turn around to see President Snow walk along stage to stand beside me and my mother who seems as though she wouldn't have the capacity to stand if it wasn't for me holding her. My blood turns icy cold as I see him and realise that whatever's going on is his doing.

"I welcome you here for a very special Quarter Quell." He announces and smiles at me as though we're old friends. His eyes are glimmering and cat like and I know he's in the process of doing something truly evil. "Our female contestant for District 12 - Katniss Everdeen –" he pauses as the Capitol cheer at the sound of my name "Is unable to compete in this Quarter Quell due to the big news revealed to us yesterday during the interviews. As a result we have twisted the rules a little and we have a new tribute for this year's Hunger Games."

He grins at me and gestures at the massive blank screen behind me which flickers into life, showing the cornucopia surrounded by water. The screen shows a clip of each tribute, their name and district written underneath in golden writing.

"Let the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games begin." The president calls out, watching me intently as I gaze at the screen. District 8, District 9, District 10, District 11. Finally, District 12 and there's Peeta gazing around in confusion and horror. And then they show the final tribute, my replacement, and the world falls from beneath my feet.

"And May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour" President Snow finishes, smirking as I fall to my knees in horror and disbelief, my mother falling with me.

It's Prim.

**A/N**

**Please please don't kill me!**

**I'm sorry for the cliffhanger-y ending and hopefully all the uneventful chapters leading up to this have been worth it O.o**

**I've had a few not-pleasant reviews commenting that I've 'stolen' the Hunger Games story – I apologise if the chapters that were so similar to Catching Fire bored or annoyed people, I felt they were necessary for this twist.**

**Sorry about the delay again and again, please don't hate me!**

**CaffinH**


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

I watch in horror, my arms wrapped around my sobbing mother as the crowd cheers, ecstatic at this twist of events. They don't care that my thirteen year old sister has been sent into a fight to the death with 22 of the deadliest people in Panem - Peeta not included in that.

I gaze up at the giant screen and it's almost as though I'm in there with her. Claudius Templesmith and Ceaser Flickerman are on screen, sitting at a small desk, commentating. I know from my previous years of watching the games that they commentate the start of the Games and the end of the Games together and then any bits that the Gamemakers warn them could be interesting.

Primrose - my little duck - stands on her metal plate alone in the middle of the water, even though many other tributes have jumped from their plates and are swimming furiously towards the golden Cornucopia, stacked with weapons. I think that she's frozen in fright until I realise she isn't the only one still on her plate even though the countdown ended long ago. It's only when Peeta comes on screen and I see the water reflected in his confused, blue eyes that I realise why they haven't moved. They can't. They don't know how to swim.

I punch myself mentally. How could I have never taught Prim to swim?! My father taught me when I was seven but Prim was too young then. And now she's thirteen and I still haven't taught her and though it kills me to think it, now I probably never will.

The screen switches to the image of Finnick Odair rising out of the water, shaking his dripping hair out of his eyes, sun glistening on his blue wet suit. He is the first to reach the Cornucopia and I frown angrily. This arena seems to have been built for him. He immediately grabs the trident and I whimper at the sight of a solid gold bow. That would have been my weapon of choice if I had been in there like I was meant too. If only Peeta had never told them I was pregnant.

Oh God. Peeta.

After everything I've gone through in the past few months, after spending every second focusing on my goal - to keep Peeta alive in the arena - I've now got a higher priority. Prim. And although there's nothing I can do here outside the Games, I can and I will pray as hard as I can.

Please don't let my little sister die. Even if it means losing the love of my life, the man I would have died for.

I watch impassively as the audience 'ooh' and 'ahh' as Finnick sinks his trident into the boy from District 5's chest. He looks around and frowns when he spots Prim still standing on her plate and his eyes narrow.

"No!" I gasp as he dives into the water towards her. My mother has covered her face with her hands but she watches with me through a gap in her fingers and she gasps in horror too. The camera focuses on a confused and worried Peeta who spots Finnick and Prim and bravely - but clumsily - dives into the water too. Judging by the grimace on his face when he surfaces, it's salt water. He starts to paddle towards Prim as quickly as he can - which isn't very quick - and my heart leaps into my throat with love for Peeta and fear for my sister. I wonder how he's even keeping afloat before Peeta paddles past Mags who is doing something similar and I realise the belt is a floatation device.

No time to think about that now because although Peeta is doing his best, his swimming skills are of course nothing in comparison to Finnick's 50mph shoot through the water towards Prim. As the camera zooms in on Finnick's muscular form I spot a glint of gold on his arm as it rises from the water and I spot a golden bracelet decorated with flames. It seems familiar and then I remember - Haymitch has been wearing the same bracelet since we started training. I guess he wanted us to be allies - in which case why is he going after Prim? I gaze in horror, my stomach a pit of writhing snakes as he reaches her plate and pulls himself up.

"What's your name?" he asks her and my sister mumbles something too quiet for the sensitive camera's to pick up, let alone Finnicks water-clogged ears.

"What was that?" He asks loudly and Prim seems to get the hint.

"Primrose Everdeen." She says trying to look brave but I can hear the tremble in her high voice.

"Everdeen?" Finnick frowns "Katniss' sister?" Prim nods and Finnick suddenly looks so angry that once again I'm scared that he'll hurt her. But after a second the expression has passed and Finnick offers Prim his hand.

"Can you swim?" He asks and she shakes her head. "Let me help you."

My sisters stares at this man - the man she remembers watching killing various other people on television when she was just a young child, the man who appears so gentle now even with a blood-stained trident on his back. Finnick smiles at her warmly and she takes a deep breath and puts all her trust in him, placing her small hand in his mammoth one.

It seems my sister is a better judge of character than I am, because Finnick gently helps her into the water and points out her floatation device. He hooks my sister's arms around his neck and turns to make his way back to the Cornucopia, but sees that the careers have already commandeered the small island and are killing anyone who tries to take anything from the sparkling armoury.

Peeta finally makes it to Finnick, followed quickly by Mags who gives my sister a friendly smile and it seems that this is their alliance. Together they slowly swim towards land before Enobaria and Brutus get bored and decide to come after them.

I tear my eyes away from the screen which now only shows the bloodbath at the Cornucopia and gaze in pure undisguised hatred at our president. He merely smirks at me and coughs quietly into the microphone to get the Capitol's attention.

"As you can see on stage, we are joined by Miss Everdeen's mother" he announces "And as a special surprise, we have made it a real family reunion and brought along her cousin's too."

I gaze at him in confusion which quickly turns to terror as the door on the left side of the stage opens and Hazelle walks onto the stage, her face strong and defensive, hand in hand with her children. Including...

"Gale." I gasp. Although he couldn't possibly have heard me over the screaming of the crowd, he looks straight at me, his grey eyes piercing, looking into my very soul and my mind once again flashes back to _that night._ I gaze in horror at President Snow – why did he bring Gale here? He knows Gale isn't my cousin. Does he know about the baby? – but nothing in the president's evil smirk answers my questions and he turns and walks away, followed closely by his bodyguards.

_I will put an arrow through your skull, _I vow.

The next thing I know Peacekeepers are escorting me and my mother into the training centre and we're taken up to floor Twelve – my districts floor. I guess they had nowhere else for us to stay on such short notice.

My mother stares straight ahead blankly. I watch her, trying not to notice how similar she looks now to when Dad died. Trying not to notice that she's given up already.

As soon as the peacekeepers leave us I turn on the television and sit down to see what we've missed in the 15 minutes it's taken us to get here. Hazelle sits my mother down and tries taking care of her, ordering Gale to watch his siblings. I'm relieved – both because someone is taking care of my mother and because Gale's too busy to do or say anything. I've got more important things to think about right now.

On the screen is the horrific eagle-eye view of the Cornucopia and the blood-bath that surrounds it. The sand is stained red and there are bodies in the sea. I count eight of them and take a moment to register that Enobaria and Brutus are among the ones still alive - no surprises there - before the camera changes to a shot of Finnick, Mags, Peeta and Prim who are a reasonable distance away by now. Finnick carries Mags on his back and Peeta - even with his false leg - is helping Prim over the obstacles that block their path. They're in a forest, but not the type of forest that I'm familiar with. This forest is darker and wetter and somehow you just know it's more dangerous.  
Jungle - a part deep in my brain tells me what to call this terrain and although I'm distraught that Prim is in there a miniscule part of me is glad that I am not. As soon as I think that I bury my face in my hands - I feel so guilty and so helpless. After spending so long preparing myself for my death and the death of my unborn child it now seems as though that's going to happen.  
And then I realise what that means. I'm going to have Gale's baby.  
Before I have chance to think about that a child's scream draws my attention back to the television screen. I see my mother spin around so quickly I'm surprised her neck doesn't snap, but as I kneel in front of the huge television, hands pressed up against the glass trying to inspect my sister for any sign of injury I realise it isn't her that's hurt. It's Peeta.  
Claudius Templesmith and Ceaser Flickerman's small forms at the edge of the screen have been commentating throughout the Games so far but they're silent now, waiting - in as much anticipation as the rest of us as we gaze at Peeta's unmoving form on the floor.  
I don't understand what's happened. One minute Peeta is walking ahead of Prim, slashing away leaves with a knife Finnick picked up for him at the Cornucopia and the next there was a loud zap and Peeta was thrown backwards onto the floor.  
The gamemakers display a line showing Peeta's heart rate at the bottom of the screen as they replay whatever happened to Peeta and I gasp in horror as I see the line moving rapidly for a few seconds before falling still.  
"Wait!" I shout at the screen. I don't care that people are here, I don't even care that Gale's here and I don't care that the gamemakers can't hear me "What's happening?! What does that mean?!"  
"Katniss." My mother kneels beside me and places her hands on my shoulders, her eyes red and watering but her face blank of emotion "it means his heart isn't beating."  
"No!" I shout and push her away from me and press myself up against the television as though there was a slight chance that if I pushed hard enough I can fall through the glass and into Peeta's arms and he'll laugh at me and call me silly and tell me it's all fine...  
I'm shocked into silence as Prim kneels up against Peeta and presses two fingers up against his neck. My mother and my 'family' watch in amazed silence beside me. My little sister pinches Peeta's nose - what is she doing? He needs to breath! - and before I can ask my mother what she's doing she presses her lips against Peeta's.  
I'm confused; what is she doing? I glance at my mother questioningly and am surprised to see an expression of amazement and pride on her face. I turn back to the screen and see Finnick Odair kneel beside Peeta and start pressing hard against his chest repeatedly, before stopping and nodding at Prim to continue kissing Peeta. And then I understand; she's not kissing him, she's breathing into him.  
"As sweet as this is it seems that little Primrose's efforts are futile" Claudius comments at the side of the screen.  
"It's going to take a lot more than a few thumps on the chest to bring him back after hitting a force field that strong." Ceaser shakes his head and I can sense genuine sadness in his behaviour.  
But when Peeta suddenly coughs and inhales deeply I am not the only one who jumps up in joy. The line at the bottom of the screen starts moving again in time with his heartbeat and the screen shows pictures of crowds all across the Capitol shouting and cheering that the 'father of my child' is still alive and at the hands...or lips of my little sister no less. And Finnick of course - for a second I begin to hope he survives even though I know I'll never be able to repay him for bringing Peeta back.  
But then I remember that even though Peeta is still alive it doesn't change anything - Prim still has to be my number one priority, as difficult as that is.  
My mother hugs me briefly before pulling me away at arm's length and looking into my eyes. I know she wants to say something but before she can I see Gale behind her, his steel eyes angry and jealous and suddenly I know I need to leave. Pulling away from my mother I ignore hers and Hazelle's calls for me to come back and I walk away into my room and hide under the covers even though I know that won't protect me from Gale. Nothing will.  
My mother comes in after about half an hour. She sits on the bed and tells me that there have been no new developments and that Peeta and Prim are fine. She hands me a plate of food and I notice that it's a very simple meal – better than what we'd have at home but I suppose this is considered prisoners food here in the Capitol – before I push it away.  
"Katniss, you have to eat." My mother says firmly and I shake my head.  
"I'm not hungry." I mumble. She purses her lips and I feel glad that she hasn't returned to her zombie-like state after seeing her daughters display of medical knowledge on TV.  
"Then don't do it for you" she tells me "Do it for the baby."  
"The baby?" I sit up angrily in my bed "Why should I? If it wasn't for this...this thing, I'd be in the games now, not Prim. And because of that I can't even ask Haymitch to help Peeta because instead I have to ask him to help Prim. I can't save Peeta and now he's going to die."  
My mother envelopes her arms around me and though I don't return the embrace I don't push away either.  
"That isn't the baby's fault Katniss." My mother tells me and I scowl even though I know she's right "Even if something does happen to Peeta you will always have a small part of him with you."  
For some reason those words make me feel sick to the stomach and I push her away, standing up.  
"You don't understand." I tell her, leaning against the huge window, gazing out at the Capitol.  
"Then help me too" My mother begs and I turn around.  
"Fine." I snap furiously. "It's not Peeta's baby. It's Gales. Is that what you wanted to hear?"  
Suddenly I've realised what I've done. I told her. I put my hand over my mouth in attempt to stop my gasp from breaking free, but it doesn't work. My mother sits there gazing at me before standing up and walking towards the door.  
"Mother?" I ask but she doesn't react "Say something." I beg and she stops and looks at me.  
"I have never been so ashamed." She tells me, eyes hard and angry. She turns and leaves the room and I fall to my knees.  
I should never have said anything.

**A/N**

**Hey guys –sheepish grin-**

**I am SO sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I've had a truck-load of work unexpectedly thrown at me over the past few weeks and this chapter was very difficult to write (balancing the whole Katniss' life VS what's happening in the Games and the whole watching it on TV thing), plus it's one of the longest chapters in the story.  
So I lost one or two readers by putting Prim into the Games and that's a shame but it wasn't for everyone :/. I'm sure I've lost a few readers simply by taking so long to update after being such a regular and quick updater in the beginning and I apologise for that...but mostly I'd like to thank the readers who are still reading and reviewing and sending me messages to hurry the f**k up! :') Thank you guys, you are constantly a motivation :D**

**Secondly: I was thinking of finishing this story the same time Catching Fire finished – when they broke out of the arena – and then starting the second part of the story where Mockingjay begins. My reasoning behind this is a) I think it'll separate the two stories nicely and b) it will give me some time to sort out my workload and finish my other fanfic (Black Swan; a BlackFrost Avengers fanfic if anyone's interested). BUT I'm worried that I'll lose a lot of readers and that you guys won't be interested in reading the two stories if they're cut in half. So let me know what you think pleassseee 3**

**Okay, so keep reading and review and let me know; what you likes, what you didn't and as always, idea's and suggestions are welcome :)**


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

I forgot how much I hate watching television. Back in district 12 we only watch the mandatory programs which are usually some pointless announcement that's for 'the good of the country' which will make our lives all that much worse and the Games. But honestly, if I wanted to find time to watch television I probably could. Never before have I sat watching the television constantly for hours on end but now I feel I have no choice.

My mother won't speak to me. She thinks I cheated on Peeta with Gale and she's refusing to acknowledge my presence. I'm not sure what treatment Gale is getting; I haven't left my room. Mother has come in once or twice and given me food and then stared at me disapprovingly until I ate an acceptable amount. I think it's her way of saying "I'm angry with you but I won't let you give up on my grandchild." I don't know. I don't care any more. I hate this, I hate being pregnant and I hate that Gale's here when I have so much more important things to deal with.

Claudius Templesmith let the world in on the big secret less than an hour ago - the arena is a clock with a different horrible danger in each section at the right time. They won't tell us what the twelve dangers are - otherwise how would they keep us in suspense? From what I can tell no one in the arena has caught onto this.

After the battle everyone took of in their own direction. The careers are hiding on the outskirts of the beach waiting for some helpless tribute to walk towards what seems to be the only source of water in the arena - the salty lake surrounding the Cornucopia. They've killed a lot already. Johanna and the other two are in the 12 o' clock segment of the arena - who knows what will happen there. They're in the middle somewhere sleeping as its night time now. One of the morphlings died during the initial battle while the other ran into the woods and is now watching Chaff and the others who have also teamed up and are settling down in the 10 o' clock segment to sleep. Prim, Peeta, Finnick and Mags are asleep in the 1 o' clock part and although I want to shout at them to move - it's almost 12 now - there's no use. All I can do is watch and pray that they think to move - though that's doubtful as they're all sleeping. All except Peeta, whose keeping watch.

I watch him sitting in the rain and the drops of water that slide down the hidden camera are mirrored in the tears sliding down my cheeks. He died today. He was stupid for stepping into that force field - thank god Prim and Finnick knew what to do, I certainly wouldn't have. He sits there looking down at the ground and it takes me a second to tear my eyes away from his face and realise he's actually staring at something which is glinting in the moonlight.

I assume it's the spile Haymitch sent them earlier - 'about time too' I growled, reminding myself to kick him for not doing it sooner when I saw him again. If I saw him again - but then I realise it's a golden pocket-watch, similar to the one Plutarch Hevensbee had during the victory tour. This one even has a mockingjay on it as well and I can't help but wonder the relevance of it. he strokes the gold cover of the watch with his thumb and then opens it. I gasp as the camera zooms in on a picture of my face, my mothers and Prim inside the watch. I can practically hear the entire country of Panem 'awww'.

Peeta and I both jump at the clock tolling twelve. Even though I was expecting this clue, the tributes obviously were not and I see almost all of the remaining people jump awake at the sounds and gaze in shock as a bolt of lightning hits a tree in the twelve o' clock segment. I frown as Johanna, Beetee and Wiress are all electrocuted due to being in that part of the arena at that exact time. The floor glows blue with electricity and the three of them scream in shock and pain. Luckily as they're so close to the beach the electric seems to wear off the further they are from the tree, so it doesn't kill them - where would the fun be in that, I think sarcastically. It seems that while Beetee and Johanna are fine, just weak and surprised and aching but being electrocuted seems to have affected Wiress badly and she's having some difficulty communicating. She keeps saying "Tick Tock" over and over again and singing an old nursery rhyme. I guess she's figured the arena out, but unfortunately she's neither close enough to tell the people I love and seems to be unable to tell anyone, even the people she's with. Johanna is getting more and more frustrated than her and I frown in disgust as Claudius mentions the possibility of Johanna killing Wiress if she gets too irritating.

Thinking about it, why is Johanna with Wiress and Beetee? She referred to them as Nuts and Volts, she doesn't like them at all and she made that perfectly clear not only to them but to everyone else during training as well. Why would she keep them around?

I must have fallen asleep briefly because suddenly I'm awakened by the sound of Peeta shouting and I jump up ready to help before remembering that they are just on the television and there's nothing I can do to help anyway. It must be the one o clock trap and I gasp in horror at the sight of Peeta hand in hand with Prim and Finnick with Mags on his back running away from a deadly mist.

"You see the mist is just a visual version of a toxic chemical that disables the nerves and eats through your skin if direct contact is made." Claudius explains as I watch in horror. I can hear my mother shouting at Prim to run in the other room and I guess she's watching as well. I gasp in horror when Peeta's artificial leg is snagged on a vine and he falls, pulling Prim down with him.

"Go Prim, go!" He shouts at her and her eyes fill with tears as she looks from the fast approaching mist, too the fallen Peeta and then back to her escape route. She cries out in pain as her skin on her cheek starts blistering and Peeta using the last of his strength and mobility pushes her away.

"You have to go!" He slurs - already his face is starting to slide and it's clear by the jerking movements that his hands are no longer in his control.

Suddenly Finnick appears beside Peeta and even with the mist lapping at his ankles he pulls Peeta up onto his back, cradling Mags in his arms bridal style. Peeta doesn't protest - I don't think he can.

"Can you run?" Finnick asks my sister and she nods tearfully and they take off, Prim at a quick pace - thankfully the mist hasn't stared to affect her nerves yet - and Finnick at a slower, jerking pace, his arms burdened with the two heavy tributes and his legs spasming almost beyond his control.

Suddenly, Mags reaches up and kisses Finnick hard on the lips. He stops in shock and she jerks herself out of his grasp and dives into the oncoming grey.

"No!" Finnick shouts, reaching for her but its too late. Mags jerks a few times like a fish out of water and then falls to the floor, eyes glassy but lips turned up into a small smile. I don't bother trying to stop my tears flowing as I recall how Mags volunteered in the place of the young woman from District Four and died in her place, and I even let out a sob at the expression of pure misery on Finnick's face. He must have really loved her.

As sad as it is, it seems that Mags dying was what Finnick needed to give him the push to keep running even with a spasming Peeta on his back. He runs towards my sister who is standing very still and grabs her shoulders.

"Come on" He pulls at her "We have to keep running!"

"No" Prim speaks up "We're okay."

Finnick and Peeta gaze at her in confusion before turning to look at the mist and they see she is right. The mist has stopped chasing them and is pressing itself up against what seems to be an invisible wall. I breathe a sigh of relief - they're in the next segment - before relief turns to panic. They're in the 2 o clock segment which means they're only safe for a limited amount of time.

"Move you idiots!" I mutter wishing more than anything that they could hear me and maybe the Gods hear my wish because without speaking they begin their slow, jerky march towards the beach.

Finnick gets there first and rather than dumping Peeta on the hard sand he drops Peeta in the water which although is wet, isn't solid. Peeta lets out a slow groan of relief and Finnick and Prim both watch as some while misty looking liquid starts to seep from the blisters on Peeta's body and his face and spasming limbs relax almost immediately. Taking a quick look at the other, Prim and Finnick both run into the water, washing the misty poison from their skins.

The camera switches to other tributes while they wash themselves off. Nothing interesting is going on - the careers are still asleep and Wiress is still 'Tick Tock'-ing. One or two other tributes are wandering around searching for food and water still but with no luck.

By the time the camera returns to Peeta, Prim and Finnick I've almost fallen asleep again. It's quarter to three in the morning after all but I'm filled with a sense that this day is far from over. Although the trio are still in the 2 o'clock zone where the trap is poised and ready, nothing has happened yet and that fills me with a deep feeling of suspicion. My intuition proves right when Peeta wanders into the jungle to get water with the spile - thank God my mother had one of those in the house which she used to ask Prim to collect sap with for some of her medicines, or they never would have known what it was for. The camera zooms out into the trees and I see what looks like a million monkey-like creatures watching Peeta with baited breath.

"Don't look up!" I want to scream as if he could hear me but so far so good.

Sensing danger, Finnick follows Peeta to see if everything is okay after a few minutes and after about 20 seconds of being on her own Prim follows. Finnick and Peeta both spot the monkeys suddenly and they pause, holding their breath and start moving back towards the beach slowly. maybe it's because they were too busy concentrating on the monkeys or maybe it was just back luck but Finnick back right into Prim who falls backwards, eyes gazing up at the monkeys.

For a second everything is deathly quiet. And then Prim screams and all hell breaks loose.

I watch eyes wide and horrified as Peeta and Finnick slash away, killing creature after creature only for them to be replaced.

"There's no point fighting, you have to run!" I shout, knowing that I would be fighting too if I was there. Prim has had the good sense to stay on the ground where she is protected by Peeta and Finnick's body's which are massive in comparison to her small thirteen year old frame. And then it happens. A monkey dives towards Peeta, mouth wide and eyes set on murder and I can tell by the look in Peeta's eyes that he knows this is it, that his luck has run out and he's going to die.

But then the morphling pops out of nowhere it seems and dives in front of Peeta. The monkey buries its teeth in the morphlings chest and blood spurts everywhere. Once aging, my sister screams. Peeta kills the monkey and grabs Prim as Finnick grabs the morphling and they run down towards the beach.

They're not going to make it, I know that when suddenly a clock appears on the screen showing the time as 3am and the monkeys stop. Just stop, dead in their tracks. It's time for a new trap now, and thankfully this time the gang run into the previous segment where the mist was rather than straight into the four o'clock area where they'd have to face new dangers for the third time tonight.

The group settle down and Finnick settles the morphling down on the ground. Peeta begins to inspect its wound but then stops and looks at Prim.

"I believe this is your area of expertise" he asks "if you want."

Prim gulps and them moves forward, gently pushing the bloodstained fabric that was the top half of the morphlings outfit out of the way so that she could inspect the wound. The camera gets closer and we can see every detail of the bloody mess that is the morphlings chest and I turn away in disgust. It's clear that the monkey's teeth have pierced something vital. Her lungs or maybe her heart.

Suddenly Prim jumps up, startling everyone and dashes towards the edge of the woods where she searches through the foliage for something. After a few moments she finds a red spiked plant and grins in delight.

"I knew I'd seen some around here" She grins at Peeta who nods even though its clear he has no idea what she's talking about. My sister crumples the plant up in her hand and then sprinkles the red over the morphlings wound. There's a hissing sound and what looks almost like steam seems to rise from the wound but when the steam rises I can see that the bleeding has stopped.

"There" Prim smirks "It stopped the bleeding. It might not work, if she's hurt herself too badly then it won't matter, but at least she won't die of blood loss in the meantime and she can't feel any pain."  
"That can't be a normal plant" Peeta says looking slightly in awe at the spiky red leaves

"It's not, it's like a mutt" Prim says, shrugging. "It was spread accidentally when the rebels blew up the building that was engineering it during the war." Peeta nods, clearly fascinated and I raise my eyebrow, impressed and proud of my little duck. I should really start listening in school.

"Why are we bothering?" Finnick snaps suddenly, making Prim jump. I glare at him through the TV screen.

"What?" Peeta asks, as confused as I am.

"Why are we bothering trying to save her?" Finnick asks angrily "I mean its one thing in these games to help keep your allies alive until you have to separate, but to actually go through the trouble of stopping them from dying if they're already injured? I don't see the point. We're going to have to kill her eventually so why not just let her die now like this rather than give her an extra few days, hours or minutes before we have to kill her ourselves."  
There's silence for a moment and then Prim looks at Finnick.

"Because." She says her voice strong and stubborn, a familiar lock to her jaw. For the first time she looks exactly like our father. Exactly like me. "Because we're better then that."

And on that note she rolls over and falls asleep. Peeta looks at her and then at Finnick, shrugging before yawning tiredly.

"Sleep." Finnick tells him, his voice quiet and ashamed "You took the last watch, I'll take this one."

Peeta starts to protest but then he sees something in Finnick's expression and decides not to argue.

"Well, I did die today." He jokes and Finnick smiles slightly, before he lies down on the hard sand and falls asleep quickly. No nightmares in the arena, there's no point having nightmares about the Games when you're already taking part.

Finnick turns away from them and gazes out at the golden Cornucopia shining in the light of the mood reflecting off the water. He lets out a small sob and I frown sadly. He was just lashing out because of Mags.

I turn the TV off, deciding to give him some privacy and then freeze as I hear a voice behind me, a dangerous and oh-so-familiar voice.

"Alone at last Catnip."

**A/N**

**Hey all**

**Okay so I hope you liked the chapter :) I've had a lot of good reviews for the last chapter; all in all people seem to like the way I've written the story (for example, with Katniss watching the Games on TV) which makes me very glad. Anyone who hasn't already told me though, I'd love to get your opinion so please review!**

**Regarding whether or not to separate the stories; I think I will. I suspect that it's a risk as I could lose a few readers in doing so, but most of the people who commented said that they had no problem with the idea of splitting the stories and to be honest I think the story will be too long if I write Catching Fire and Mockingjay in the same one.**

**Who has suggestions for what to call How To Kill A Mockingjay pt2? I'm going to think up a few options and I'd love for others to enter their ideas via review or private messaging and I'm going to hold a competition:**

**It's simple. The person who has reviews the most on this story by the time it's finished will be given the final options for what the next story will be called and they will get to make the final decision :)**

**Anyway, thank you all for reading. Don't kill me for the ending, you know I love a good cliffhanger ;) Let me know what you think and those of you who do will receive lots of Peeta-shaped-love in the post :D**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**CaffinH 3**


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

I freeze as I hear a voice behind me, a dangerous and oh-so-familiar voice.  
"Alone at last Catnip."  
I spin around and find myself face to face with my one-time-brother.  
"Gale." I squeak and then hit myself mentally. Katniss Everdeen does not squeak, even when faced with the one person who terrifies her more than the President of Panem ever could.  
"Shut up." He spits at me, grabbing my arms. I start to shout out in pain and fear but he puts his finger on my lips.  
"Shhh" he soothes, terrifyingly "It's okay. I just want to talk."  
I shove him away from me and back away, arms folding protectively over my stomach. That surprises me slightly; since when have I felt protective of this stranger inside me? Gale notices my protective stance and his eyes narrow.  
"That's what I want to talk to you about actually." He says, gesturing towards me and I flinch as he walks closer. "I'm assuming that it's mine?"  
I don't answer; I just stare back at him watching his arms for any hint of movement. Gale sighs.  
"Right." He says shaking his head "Well, I can't deal with that Katniss." I look up at his face, momentarily confused. He gazes back at me, eyes apathetic. "I can't afford to have a child. Especially with a mother as dirty and disgusting as you." His eyes train up my body, mouth turned down in a grimace of disgust. "So I'm going to get rid of it."  
I want to shout out but I can't. I'm too afraid. He's going to beat my baby out of me and there's nothing on this earth I can do to stop him. He lunges towards me and I close my eyes, crouching on the floor to cover my stomach but the pain I'm expecting never comes. I hear a dull thud of skin against skin but when I open my eyes Gale is laying on the floor gazing up in shock and horror, his hand covering a forming bruise on his cheek.  
"Get the hell away from my daughter." My mother says, fists clenched and eyes blazing. "Katniss, come here."  
And I do. I'm not going to disagree with her after what she just did - something I was too afraid to do. I flinch as I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Hazelle standing beside me. Her big eyes are filled with horrified tears and her voice when she speaks is filled with sadness.  
"Is it true? Is it his?" she asks, gesturing at my small but slowly becoming move obvious bump.  
"I...don't know." I say truthfully. It's the least I owe her "I think so."  
"How can you not know?" Hazelle asks, eyes confused. She thinks that her son's only crime is what he's tried to do today.  
"I was with Peeta...before." I mumble. I can feel shame creeping all over me like a million spiders. "And then Gale...he..."  
"You loved every second of it." Gale smirks and suddenly I'm not ashamed. I'm angry, furious even.  
"No, Gale." I turn to him, disgusted "I did not. You made me do something I didn't want to do...how could you think I enjoyed that?"  
The room goes quiet and I bring my hand to my lips, letting out a small whimper as I realise what I've said. What I've admitted.  
"You mean he...?" My mother asks and I just nod. It's too late to take it back now. She's going to shout now, tell me I'm dirty and wrong and that the child inside me is unnatural and let Gale finish what he was about to start-  
My though process stops as my mother and Hazelle both wrap their arms around me. I stay still, shocked for a while and then I get uncomfortable; I've never been a person who enjoys hugs. I pat their backs awkwardly as though I'm the one comforting them and then I move away. Mother and Hazelle both look down on Gale in pure, undiluted anger.  
"I have not raised my son to do this to women and think it's okay." Hazelle says between gritted teeth. She pulls a surprised and slightly scared looking Gale up and glares at him "We're going home."  
They're not angry at me, I realise. They think it's his fault. Maybe it is his fault?  
"I am so sorry Katniss." Hazelle says to me, and then she's gone, Gale with her. He doesn't even glance back at me. I sigh in relief as what feels like a slab of concrete is lifted off my chest. I sit down on my bed and wait for whatever my mother has to say. It's not a long wait, but I am surprised by what she says.  
"I know you don't want to talk about this yet." She tells me quietly. "So I'm not going to ask. But I'm here if you decide you need to talk, ok?"  
I nod my head and after a second of looking as though she isn't sure what to do with herself now, my mother leaves.  
"Thank you." I mumble as she's about to close the door, and she pauses for a second and nods before closing the door behind her.  
And to my surprise even with everything going on I lay back on my bed and fall asleep in seconds and sleep for the rest of the night, uninterrupted.

When I wake up the first thing I do is groan in irritation at myself. How stupid am I. I was so preoccupied with last night's events I fell asleep and now Prim could have died while I wasn't watching. I turn on the TV quickly and sigh in relief when Claudius Templesmith comments that the only death in the past night was Mags. Surely if something had happened to Prim - or Peeta - it would be today's highlight. The camera's are focussed on Johanna Mason, Beetee and Wiress. They're joined by a man from District 7 whose name I can't quite remember until Johanna calls him Blight. Wiress is still tick tock-ing and Johanna is clearly getting very annoyed. Once again I have no idea what she's up too and it fills me with suspicion and fear. If this has anything to do with my sister in a negative way I will find her and kill her myself, regardless of how intimidating she is. They're about to travel into the trapped segment of the clock and I groan. I wonder what this trap will be?  
And then my sisters on the screen. My breath catches in my throat as I gaze at her young face - youngest in the arena, then Peeta is next. Her blond hair is tumbling out of the two plats my mother spent time tying neatly thinking it would be an ordinary day, not knowing that she would soon be fighting for her life. Prim is collecting more of the spiky red plant for the Morphling who's asleep but looks better - there's more colour in her pale cheeks now than there ever was, even before she was attacked. Prim's also collecting a green leafy plant. She says it'll stop the itching from where their skin has scabbed over after the mist and although it turns their skin a strange shade of green, it looks like its working.  
Finnick has been fishing and there's plenty of food. Peeta sits with him rubbing the green plants on his skin and looking up at the sky. I wonder what he's thinking about. Is he thinking of me?  
Then the scene switches back to Johanna and her group. They're not far from the edge of the arena, the force field that Peeta walked into yesterday can't be more than a few meters away. Wiress whimpers 'tick tock' again and then suddenly goes quiet. The camera zooms in on a red drop on her hand. Beetee takes her hand gently in his and examines it closely.

"It's blood." Beetee says, confirming my fears. He doesn't look like he's dealing so well at the minute, with trying to help Wiress, suffering the after-effects of severe electrocution and with a gaping wound in his back. And now this.  
Another drop of blood lands on Blights forehead, and Beetee's neck and shoulder and Johanna's hair. And then suddenly it's a downpour. A rain of blood. They all scream and start to run, blinded by the think red rain getting in their eyes and their hair and their mouths. I can almost taste the irony tang of blood myself and it takes me a second to realise I'm not imagining it and I've been chewing the inside of my cheeks in fear. I wince in horror as Blight in his panic runs straight into the force field and is blown backwards by the force. No one there knows how to do CPR, not that there's time. The floor around them has turned into a bloody river and Johanna grabs the whimpering Wiress and the pale Beetee and pushes them in the opposite direction.

"Run" She screams, and though the panic in her voice is evident, the two older tributes react to the authority in her tone immediately. They run.  
I watch them run through gaps in my fingers with my hands over my face.  
"Didn't think you were the type to hide from horror sweetheart." A dry sarcastic voice drawls behind me. I turn and grin - my first legitimate smile in forever it seems - and practically dive into Haymitch's arms. He looks surprised for a moment - he's about as huggy as I am - before patting my back awkwardly. I release him and then punch his arm.  
"Hey!" He winces "What was that for?"  
"Where have you been?" I snap, glaring at him "And don't tell me you've been busy getting sponsors for them because all you've sent them so far is a spile!"  
"A very useful spile, might I add." Haymitch glares "And actually if you pay attention you'll see they've just received another gift."  
Turning my attention back to the TV I see Haymitch is telling the truth. Half the screen shows Johanna and the others running through the bloody rain and the other half shows Finnick catching a parachute. It's filled with bread from District 4 – Ceaser Flickerman tells his audience - and I smile. Prim will enjoy that. I turn to thank Haymitch but stop when I see the expression on his face - one of pride, and smugness and worry.  
"What are you plotting?" I ask suspiciously and he looks up at me, eyes wide and innocent.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about." He brushes my questions off quickly. "Look sweetheart, I just came here to warn you. Be ready."  
And with one last smirk at Finnick on screen who seems to be examining the bread with extreme care, he leaves without an explanation.  
"Ready for what?" I call after him, rolling my eyes. Why don't people just explain what they mean any more rather than being all cryptic?  
"Look, sweetheart." Haymitch places his hands on my shoulders and sighs, lips pressed tightly together in irritation "Just be ready." and he leaves, smirking again at the sight of Finnick and the bread on the TV.

What is going on?!

I sigh. No one is ever going to explain anything. I finally understand how Peeta must have felt on the victory tour when Haymitch and I were trying to keep President Snow's threats a secret. Thinking of Peeta, I turn my attention back to the television.

The screen is entirely focused on Johanna, Beetee and Wiress running through the jungle. The blood rain has stopped falling by now but they don't stop running. Maybe they haven't noticed, maybe they don't care. At the minute I think they just want to get as far away as possible.

At the corner of the screen a map of the arena shows up – a perfect circle – and numbered red dots show where each tribute is. I feel the blood leave my cheeks as I realise the trio are running straight towards Finnick, Peeta and Prim and though that worries me, it doesn't worry me as much as seeing the slowly approaching Careers coming closer towards them from the opposite direction. I want to jump up and scream and warn them, but all I can do is hope that they think to leave the beach in the next 20 minutes or so before their enemy finds them.

The trio look up as the 11 o clock trap is set off – a giant wave. Fortunately Prim, Peeta and Finnick are too far away for it to affect them, and I'm surprised to find I'm relieved when I realise the same thing goes for Johanna, Beetee and Wiress. I can't help the feeling of fear and regret when I see that the Careers – led by the fearsome Enobaria – are also safe from the wave. Only one person is harmed by the wave, but the camera's didn't catch it. His face flashes up on screen and I grimace. It was Chaff, Haymitch's friend. I hope he hasn't seen this, though I know he'll see it eventually. I kiss my fingers and raise them towards the screen, a salute as the screen shows Prim, Peeta and Finnick look towards where the hovercraft lifts his body from the trees – they have no idea yet who it is.

Johanna's group suddenly emerge from the trees not far from them. Finnick jumps up, hand reaching for his trident when he first spots them – they're covered in blood and I doubt he recognises them. But then he drops the trident and grins, calling Johanna's name. Of course, they're friends from when they were mentors.

I wonder briefly if I would have been a good mentor and my hands slide down to the slowly forming bump that is my stomach. Never mind that. Will I be a good mother?

Johanna grins, perhaps the first genuine smile I've ever seen on her lips and then she starts practically dragging Beetee over to help them while Wiress slowly follows, walking oddly as though intoxicated, every now and again deterring from following her friend to walk in a circle before continuing as before.

I glare as Johanna drops Beetee on the ground to hug Finnick and I feel a great wave of love for Peeta who, after making sure the Morphling is still okay, takes Prims hand and runs over to Beetee to check on his wounds. My brave little duck doesn't even wince when she sprinkles some of the same plant she used on the morphling on Beetee's back and although the affect isn't as instantaneous as it was with the Morphling, the wound definitely begins looking better.

Peeta frowns in confusion and I think he's wondering why Johanna has the two of them with her. He focuses on their conversation, keeping one eye on Prim at all times and I love him even more for that. He'll make a great father – and I wince again.

"...and that's when Blight hit the force field." Johanna says quietly and Finnick pats her shoulder. With him covered in green and her dyed red, they look like quite a pair.

"I'm sorry Johanna." Finnick tells her sadly. I'd almost forgotten that Johanna was also from District 7. Blight and her were from the same District.

"Yeah well, he wasn't much but he was from home." She replies, nodding. "And he left me alone with these two." She looks down at Beetee angrily. "He got a knife in the back at the Cornucopia. And she's in shock." Johanna gestures and Wiress trips and almost falls into her but Peeta helps her regain her balance before she does, which I suspect is a good thing. I doubt Johanna would react very well to that.

"Where's preggers then?" Johanna asks looking around. She finally seems to notice Prim who, due to her silence and stillness can practically appear invisible even in a place she quite clearly shouldn't be like the Hunger Games. "Who's this?"

"Katniss' little sister." Finnick explains, his jaw tense. I frown – I understand that putting my sister in my place is cruel but I'm surprised by how angry Finnick seems to be taking it. "Primrose. They put her in instead of Katniss. Something about how being pregnant is breaking the rules."

"Are you kidding me?" Johanna screams, making me and everyone else on the beach jump. The screen switches quickly over to Enobaria who looks up quickly at the sound. She grins with her strange teeth and they continue on their way towards the group. My heart beats a little faster. Back on the beach, Johanna is continuing her rant.

"I got them-"She gestures wildly at Beetee and Wiress "Out of the jungle for her and she's not even here?!"

I frown. What does she mean she got them for me? What is going on?

"I do not have time for little kids." Johanna snaps at my very scared looking sister and never before have I wanted to kills somebody so badly.

Peeta stands between them.

"Exactly." He says his blue eyes hard. "A little kid. That's what she is. A little girl in an arena full of people much older than her who she has seen her whole life killing other people on television in this exact same situation. You may think you've had a hard life but right now, she is dealing with a lot more than you ever had to, so back off."

Johanna looks at Peeta, her mouth open and eyes wide and surprised. Finnick smirks slightly – I don't think anyone's ever stood up to Johanna before now – and I grin wildly even though no one can see me. I relax a little, knowing that my sister is safe from Johanna while Peeta's around. Johanna closes her mouth and huffs, arms crossed, fuming silently.

As if in unspoken agreement the next five minutes are spent silently washing the blood from the trio and trying to help Beetee and the Morphling. Both are looking better as time goes on – I'm not sure what that stuff is Prim uses, but it's brilliant.

"Tick Tock" are the only words spoken for a while. I can sense Wiress' frustration through the television as the presenters laugh at the irony – that the only one there's who's figured out the arena is the only one unable to communicate.

Johanna and Peeta take watch while the others sleep. The Careers are sitting not far from them – they've also decided to rest. I suspect that Enobaria knows exactly where the group are and has decided to rest up before attacking them when they're better equipped. I can only hope that some trap harms them in the night.

"How'd you lose Mags?" Johanna asks Peeta after checking that Finnick is asleep. Though he did tell them about the fog in a sad, detached kind of way, he didn't mention Mags at all. Peeta explains sadly.

"She was Finnick's mentor you know." Johanna tells him accusingly and I glare. It's not as though it's Peeta's fault.

"No I didn't." Peeta says sadly and I growl. Don't you dare blame yourself.

"She was half his family." Johanna says quietly. There is no accusation in her voice now, just sadness.

The sun rises as the two of them sit back to back silently. Peeta starts playing with his watch again.

"Tick Tock" Wiress wakes up and groans, waking Prim as well. Prim rubs her eyes with her fists and my eyes fill with tears at the childishness of that small gesture. She's just a baby, really.

"yes, tick tock." Prim tries to calm Wiress and persuade her to go back to sleep. The sun is high in the air and I see on the clock in the corner of the screen that it is almost 12.

The lightning hits the tree again, making Prim jump. Wiress looks at her and looks at the tree.

"Tick Tock." She repeats and Prim looks at her, eyes beyond her age. There are twelve bongs again.

'Come on Prim' I think desperately 'work it out you smart little girl. You can do it.'

She looks up at the sun and back at the tree, and then at Wiress again.

"Tick Tock." Wiress mutters sleepily.

"It's a clock." Prim whispers to herself and then she stands up suddenly. "It's a clock!"

"Prim?" Peeta looks over at her, eyes worried

"It's a clock!" She grins, proud to have worked it out and I grin with her.

'That's my girl' I think proudly.

Prim explains quickly to Peeta and I see him looking around the arena, working it out in his head. Johanna is listening too and it's her who catches on first.

"We have to move" She says, and Peeta nods in agreement. They start waking people and moving the injured. Prim gathers up her plants and walks with Wiress who seems pleased that people have finally started paying attention to what she was saying and starts singing.

"Midnight." Wiress tells Prim and she nods

"Yes, you're right." She says "It starts at midnight."

I flashback suddenly to the night I met Plutarch Heavensbee and he showed me his mockingjay watch.

'_it starts at midnight'_ he told me then. Was he giving me a clue when he thought I'd be the one going back into the arena, while I was blissfully unaware? Why would he do that? There is definitely something going on and I growl in frustration because I just can't work it out.

The group are making their way towards to Cornucopia. Johanna has given the woozy but awake Beetee a roll of wire that he asked for and I remember that he won his last games using wire. They arrive at the Cornucopia and Beetee asks a much more sane Wiress to wash his wire for him. She does so, happy now she's said what she needed to say and starts singing again as she washes, driving Johanna insane.

"Not this song again." Johanna complains and I grin. Anything to annoy that vile girl "She was doing it for ages before she started tick tock-ing.

Beetee mentions something about canary's and Peeta and Prim start to explain the canary's and the coal mines to Johanna but I don't pay attention. The camera shows the Careers wading silently through the water towards the Cornucopia. Towards my sister and Peeta. They haven't noticed and I want to warn them, I need to warn them, but now Peeta's drawing a map and Prim's trying to help and they're just not paying any attention. The Morphling is awake and sitting near Wiress but she doesn't see them before they silently slit her throat. I cry out in sadness. Wiress looks up and sees them as they're almost upon her but the warning seems to get stuck in her throat. She croaks a few times and gasps, eyes wide and fearful and then the brave woman does the only thing she can think of – she throws the roll of wire she was washing at the back of Johanna's head.

"What the-" Johanna shouts turning around, gasping at the sight before her and reaching for her axe. Finnick reacts immediately and picks up his trident, but it's too late for Wiress.

"Tick tock." She mutters sadly, gazing at a horrified Beetee, still too weak from his injury to do anything to help before the long knife is drawn across her throat, and her body slides into the water leaving a grinning Brutus and Enobaria to climb onto the platform and head towards the two people I love the most.

**A/N**

**Hi Guys!**

**-looks ashamed-**

**I know it's been forever since I've updated. With Christmas and New Years and work and university I've just been so busy, not to mention suffering from severe writers block. I haven't been updating my other story either, so I have a lot of angry readers there.**

**I'm sorry to leave you on such a cliffhanger. I hope I haven't lost too many reviewers, I know it's been a few months since I updated so it'd be my own fault if I had. A few people have sent me messages telling me to get my ass moving and I thank you all so much for that because honestly if you hadn't I might have just abandoned the story.**

**Now that it's back on track though there are only a couple of chapters left. I think thats probably one reason I haven't wanted to write – because I know it's going to end soon! :( I'm terrified you guys won't like the ending as well. I hope y'all do. Of course, then this finishes I'll still have part 2 to write but I'm going to have a bit of a break before starting that. Still no name for part 2 although I do have a few wonderful suggestions and one favourite that I have in mind.**

**So, any idea's for the name of part 2 or indeed, any ideas for the plot as, although it's all planned out and ready to go, I'm always welcome to suggestions – let me know!**

**Looking forward to hearing from you all again, so sorry for the delay (please don't kill me).  
Expect to hear from me soon and I hope y'all had a great Christmas and a fantastic New Years :D**

**~CaffinH**

**P.s the 'get the hell away from my daughter' scene with Katniss' mum is one of my favourites. What did you guys think?**


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Brutus and Enobaria are the main focus of the screen as they clamber out of the water and head towards the Cornucopia where my sister sits, hidden in Peeta's shadow. And I can see it happening in front of my eyes, the events that will unfold from here on out. They will all fight. Finnick and Johanna will fight for their lives, but Peeta – the best of us all – will fight for Prim. Of all the victors in history – tribute or otherwise – Peeta is the only one who refused to harm another human.

"_I don't want them to change me in there"_ his words to me, spoken on the night before we entered the arena last year ring through my mind "_I have to die, I want to still be me."_

And if he dies now, I know he'll get his wish. He will die a protector, a hero and the best of us all. A tear rolls down my cheek and I'm filled with self-loathing and guilt when all I can think is that I hope Peeta does not die in vain. I hope he can save my sister.

But to my surprise – and the commentators surprise as well judging by their expressions of confusion on the images of them at the bottom of the screen – Finnick and Johanna are suddenly standing in front of Peeta, their weapons held in front of them and their stances protective.

"They're protecting Peeta and Prim" I think out loud. "but...why?"

My mother runs into my room and sits down beside me. Her eyes are wide and afraid and I know that she expects to see our little duck die. She doesn't want to have to see it alone. I want to embrace her, and tell her Prim will be fine but I can't because I don't know that. Instead I take her hand and squeeze softly, trying to convey the message that I understand what she's feeling in that gesture. I concentrate hard on the television so I don't have to think about what might happen to Prim and Peeta.

Johanna throws her axe which buries itself in Cashmere's chest. Even considering the horror of the situation, I have to admire her strength and skill with the axe – I could never achieve that sort of damage with such a heavy weapon. Gloss cries out, his hands dyed red with Wiress's blood as he sees the girl fall backwards into the water.

_Boom. Boom._

The cannons confirm that there is no way to help Wiress and no need to worry about Cashmere. Gloss turns to Johanna, anger in his eyes and lunges at her wildly with his blade.

Finnick uses his trident to block a spear thrown by Brutus at Peeta and in the process is stabbed in the thigh by Enobaria. He grunts in pain but doesn't let that prevent him from using his good leg to kick Enobaria hard, winding her and knocking her back a few steps.

"Finnick!" Johanna shouts, her voice slightly panicked. Gloss seems to have given up all strategy in his attack and is just lunging wildly at her with his blade. Normally it would be easy for Johanna to take him out, but her only weapon was her axe which is now at the bottom of the salt-water. Finnick pulls Enobaria's knife from his thigh and throws it to Johanna who catches it expertly and with one long stroke of her arm, slits Gloss's throat. He stumbles back and falls to his knees, his eyes wide with shock. And then he smiles and his grin reminds me so much of Cato's on the Cornucopia – Happy to die for the Capitol, proud to die representing his district – and then he falls, eyes blank and smile faded.

_Boom__**. **_

Peeta has pulled Prim away from the violence and hides her behind the Cornucopia, covering her eyes. She's as white as a sheet but her jaw is set in a familiar, stubborn grimace and my heart breaks.

"My little duck" I'd say if I were with her "You've been so brave."

I wish that she didn't need to be so brave. I wish I was there in her place. I realise this is what would be happening if I hadn't volunteered last year for Prim – I would have watched her and Peeta on screen. Would he have protected her then, if he hadn't known her and lived next door to her for the best part of a year in the Victors Village? If he hadn't fallen in love with me?

I smile softly. I think he would have protected her even then.

Finnick and Johanna stand, weapons raised ready to fight the last of the Careers but Enobaria and Brutus are gone, running down the strip of sand that leads to the beach. Johanna looks at Finnick in confusion and then at Beetee who squats on the sand, clutching the still bloody roll of wire in his hands, crying softly.

Suddenly the ground jerks beneath their feet and they're all flung onto their side in the sand. The circle of land that holds the Cornucopia begins to spin very quickly and I can hear Prim yell as the wind whips at her face and she holds onto the sun-warmed golden wall of the Cornucopia with all her strength. The camera switches to an eagle-eye view of the arena and Ceaser Flickerman comments that this must be the game-makers way of putting the tributes back at a disadvantage now that they knew about the clock.

The Cornucopia stops spinning. Beetee is the only one who's been flung off – I see that Peeta's practically thrown himself over Prim to make sure she didn't follow him. I thank him for that and judging by the expression on her face, so does my mother. Finnick dives into the water and pulls the slightly waterlogged but otherwise fine Beetee back to the Cornucopia. He's still clutching the golden wire.

"Let's get off this stinking island." Johanna says angrily and I think she feels guilty about the way she treated Wiress now that she's dead. They spend a while trying to decide which direction to go in, attempting to work out which segment of the arena is which time while the camera decides that something much more interesting is going on with Enobaria and Brutus. They wander through the jungle. Enobaria is in front with a sword, hacking her way through leaves and trees angrily. Much more angrily than necessary and Brutus seems to realise that. He hangs back for a while before calling her name. She doesn't react, she just carries on hacking her way forward. She hits at one plant with her sword but it doesn't break all the way through and this seems to be Enobaria's snapping point. She lets out a yell of frustration and begins hacking at the plant furiously and repeatedly until Brutus slowly and cautiously walks up behind her and places his hand gently on her shoulder. She freezes and for a second I think she's about to attack him too, but then her shoulder slump and she turns and looks at him, her eyes wide and tearful , expressing emotions I can't understand. Brutus pats her shoulder gently and nods his head.

"I know." He says.

I realise that this is their way of mourning Gloss and Cashmere's death. I shake my head in shame. It was wrong of me to think that just because of the district they were from that they wouldn't care when their friends were killed.

The screen switches back to my group quickly – the gamemakers wouldn't want the audience to see their favourite strong and cold Careers showing emotion now, would they?

I realise quickly that this isn't the only reason that the gamemakers have chosen to focus on my group. Even with all their planning and working out, even with Peeta's map, now destroyed they still wander into the trapped part of the arena. I feel my mother tense up beside me as Finnick and Peeta wander into the jungle together, leaving Prim with Johanna. I don't know if I'm more worried about Peeta who's walking straight into a trap or Prim, left alone with the famous and terrifying Johanna Mason. I see Peeta glance back worriedly at Prim and Johanna rolls her eyes.

"I'll look after the kid, don't worry." She grunts, making it perfectly obvious what she thinks of her 'babysitting' duties. I narrow my eyes – If I were in the arena I'm pretty sure I would have had some serious conflict with this woman by now. I'm not calm like Peeta, whose eyes focus on Prim, those blue eyes that tell her that everything's going to be okay without him ever saying a word. I know Prim will be fine with Peeta there to look after her and unbelievably, I think I'm falling in love with him even more.

Knowing this, my hand falls across my slowly growing stomach and I smile softly. If Peeta survives this, he will make the perfect father for my baby. And I think after seeing this, maybe I'll let him. Even if he isn't the father.

Then my head snaps up as I hear a scream. My mother gasps and she turns to look at me in confusion. I frown. I recognise that voice. That's the scream that wakes me up at night when I have nightmares about the last games, the shout that cries out Peeta's name until before realising that he's safe, the voice that trembles in fear as the image of Gale's hands on her body burns itself into her mind. That's my voice.

"Katniss!" I hear Prim call on the TV and I lean forward.

"Prim, it's a trap!" I want to call, but I can't. I'm too confused, too surprised – how are they doing this?

The screen switches to Peeta and Finnick who's heads snap up at the sound of my cries. Dropping the spile the two of them run towards the origin of the sound.

"Annie!" Finnick cries out, coming to a standstill and looking around, eyes wide and scared. I frown and listen more carefully and I realise my cries aren't the only ones. The screen switches to Johanna who seems to be holding Prim tight to stop her running towards where she thinks I am.

"But they're hurting her!" She yells, struggling with all her might against Johanna's arms but her struggles are pointless. It's obvious that a thirteen year old is no match for Johanna Mason – and while that thought scares me, I'm filled with thankfulness that Johanna has held her back and kept her safe.

Back in the jungle Finnick and Peeta are standing together. Peeta, although pale and panicked is in a better state than Finnick. He turns to the older man and shakes him hard.

"Finnick!" He shouts over the screams "Listen to me. It's not her, it's not Annie."

"What do you mean?!" Finnick shouts back face white "I know that voice-"

"They're Jabberjays!" Peeta interrupts, pointing out the birds that I hadn't noticed. I grit my teeth stubbornly. The gamemakers are nothing if not genius.

Finnick falls to the floor, but not in relief. If anything he looks more upset than before.

"It's not Annie." He tells Peeta so quietly the speakers can barely hear him over the sound of the jabberjays. "And it's not Katniss either. But they must have gotten those sounds from somewhere."

Peeta's eyes widen as he considers this and I can imagine what images are running through his mind.

"You don't think-" He starts but Finnick interrupts.

"That's exactly what I think." Finnick says.

"Katniss!" Prim shouts out again, the screen switching back to her. Johanna looks irritated but keeps her hands around Prims shoulders. And then my little duck does something entirely unexpected; she bites Johanna's hand hard, taking the older girl by surprise and escaping.

"Ah you little brat!" Johanna shouts out, more in shock than pain, eyes widening when she sees my sister running off into the jungle. "Primrose!" She yells, running after her. Beetee, who until now has been standing there quietly, follows them, calling my sister's name as well.

"Katniss!" Prim calls my name and I put my hands over my ears. I can't listen to her call me anymore, knowing I can't get to her. I suppose this is what Prim and Peeta and Finnick must be feeling in the arena. That's the point of the jabberjay's – to make the tribute feel helpless, to drive them slowly insane.

And then suddenly the noises stop. Prim stops dead, eyes widening in fear and Johanna and Beetee almost crash into her.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" Johanna snaps at her but Beetee puts his hand on her shoulder.

"The screams." He mutters "They've stopped." He seems to spot something not far in front of him and he walks slowly forward, his hands outstretched as though reaching for something. He stops when his hands meet the almost transparent barrier.

"What now?" Prim asks him and Beetee turn to look at her.

"Finnick and Peeta are in there." He replies, sitting down. "So I guess we wait."

Meanwhile within the barrier, the screams are louder than ever. The jabberjays follow Peeta and Finnick as they walk alongside the barrier.

"Better to walk than to stay still." Peeta reminds Finnick every time he slows "It'll keep us distracted."

Still, as the hour goes on even Peeta breaks once or twice, turning to throw anything he can get his hands on at the birds who fly away for a second, and then return louder than ever. Other voices have joined them now, some I recognise like his mother and father and brothers. When Peeta breaks, Finnick just stands and waits for him to run out of energy or things to throw – whichever happens first – and then they continue walking.

"Look" Peeta points out to Finnick, some hope in his voice when after about 20 minutes they spot Beetee, Johanna and Prim sitting on the other side of the barrier. The trio spot Finnick and Peeta and jump to their feet shouting at the two of them but inside the barrier all they can hear is the screams of the jabberjays.

Finnick stands in front of Johanna and smiles at her thinly. She gazes at him in worry as he slowly sinks to the floor and puts his hands over his ears. Peeta sits down beside Prim and tries to smile at her, as though he thinks if she sees him behaving so calmly she'll calm down too. For a while, Prim looks as panicked as ever. And then Peeta slowly places his hand on the barrier and Prim smiles and puts her hand on the other side. His hand seems like a giants in comparison to hers but it isn't intimidating. It's a symbol of protection –even now on different sides of the barrier, Peeta is protecting Prim, and protecting me always.

I place my hand over his on the screen and I wish he knew more than anything that I'd give anything to be there with him, to take away his pain and kiss away the tears I can see are threatening to overflow, to tell him that I'm okay and to tell him how much I love him and how much of an idiot I am to have not realised this before.  
I hear the door shut and I realise my mother has gone to give me some privacy and I'm thankful.

The hour passes slowly, the commentators explaining the mechanics of the jabberjays and how the gamemakers projected the screams so that the jabberjays could mimic them. Apparently they took our voices and distorted them. They got the voices from different places, mostly from the interviews they do with the families when there are only 8 tributes left.

Thankfully Beetee works this out and explains it to everyone when the barrier is lifted. Finnick and Peeta both seem pale and shaky but they both mirror each other's stubborn expressions and trudge onwards, Peeta's hand holding Prims. He looks just like her big brother.

I hear shouts from the next room and I stand quickly, turning off the television. Two peacekeepers march in and gesture towards the door. I don't hesitate to listen to them, determined to see if my mother is okay. She looks fine, stood between two other peacekeepers.

"What's going on?" I ask, glaring at them all, hand protectively placed on my abdomen.

"It is time for the interviews with the family." One peacekeeper informs us. "You must come with us to get ready."

I hadn't realised I would have to do the interview this year. Part of me suspected that I would be left out as I'm hardly just another family member – I should have realised that there is no chance that the gamemakers would miss out on an interview with the famous Katniss Everdeen, with not only her little sister in the arena, but also the father of her child (as far as the Capitol are concerned) who are both involved in a battle where only one can emerge.

I nod my head sadly and start to walk with them, pausing at the door to look at my mother who hasn't moved. One of the peacekeepers take her arm and try to move her towards the door but she shakes them off with an expression of disgust.

"I can walk myself, thank you very much." She snaps at them. There is a stubborn set to her jaw and I smirk, a genuine smile for the first time in what seems like forever. Perhaps I didn't get my stubborn nature just from my father.

**A/N**

**Hi guys! Thank you for reading this chapter.**

**It hasn't taken me as long as usual to update, only 2 weeks which isn't long in comparison to your last wait! I had so many great reviews on my last chapter so thank you all so much who read an especially those who sent a lovely review. I tried to reply to any of you who had questions and I hope you all appreciated the answers I gave :)**

**So what did you think of this chapter? I know I have a tendency to end chapters on cliffhangers, but I as the chapter was starting to drag on a little I decided to give it a nice ending for a change. A lot of you are starting to fall in love with Katniss's mum's character – what does everyone think of her?**

**This wasn't a massively eventful chapter so I hope it didn't bore anyone!**

**2 things to let you all know: **

**I have had many excellent suggestions for the title of Part 2, but more suggestions are always welcome! Thank you to everyone who reviewed with suggestions, each and every one of them have been taken into account and I'll let you know when I eventually decide :D**

**This is either really good or really bad news, depending on how much you like the story ;)**

**As far as my plans go, this is the penultimate chapter which means that the next chapter – chapter 24 – will be the final chapter of How To Kill A Mockingjay! This story has been going on since April 2012 so I'm going to be very upset writing it and I only hope and pray it lives up to your expectations! So keep an eye out, I don't think it'll be long before I get it up.**

**Thanks all for reading, hope you enjoyed and please review!**

**~CaffinH**


	24. Chapter Twenty four

How to Kill a Mockingjay:

The interviews were horrific to go through. Not only did I have to be cleaned and dressed up by my old prep team who will not stop talking about my apparent baby bump – I have no idea what they're talking about, I haven't noticed any growth at all – Its made all the more horrible by the absence of Cinna. I feel a twinge of guilt when I realise I've been so pre-occupied I've barely thought of him and his death over the past few days. I wish I could have had time to mourn him, the man who turned me into the girl on fire but I simply don't. All my energy is going into worrying about Prim and Peeta and my mother. I gaze down at my stomach and place my hand there gently.

"_If you're a boy I'll honour Cinna by giving you his name." _I decide. I think he'd like that.

When I'm finally dressed and made up to my prep teams satisfaction, they stand me in front of a full length mirror and wait for my approval. I gaze at myself in shock. My hair is long and lose, tumbling over my front. My dress is a beautiful shade of blue, so similar to the sea in District 4, I think back longingly. But what surprises me is they're right, I do have a baby bump. In the baggy clothes I've been wearing I haven't noticed it but this dress is fitted underneath my breasts which seem larger than before, and is pulled tight over my tummy. You can see a very distinctive baby bump, made to look all the larger by the decorative ribbon wrapped around my waist. It's like my baby is a gift wrapped present – but to who, I don't know. The dress's sleevs come to just below my elbow and the skirt falls to below my knees. Gazing at myself in the mirror I realise that I look very maternal, which is of course exactly what the Capitol wants. They need the Panem to see the evidence that justifies them removing me from the arena and putting my sister in my place.

Ceaser Flickerman is interviewing us but in all honesty I'm so preoccupied with worrying about Prim and Peeta, and my baby bump and thinking about Cinna that I pay very little attention to what's going on. I answer questions as briefly as possible. The questions are hard for both me and my mother to answer, but the one that cuts deepest is when Ceaser asks me who I'm rooting for; my little sister, or the father of my child. It's at this point I can't take it any longer and I stand and leave the room. My mother follows quickly behind me, her arm around my shoulders. I expect to be punished for leaving but the Peacekeepers just return us to our rooms. Later when we watch the interviews on the television I see that they've edited the tape and cut that bit out. Of course they did.

After my mother insists I eat a full meal which, looking down at my bump in guilt for not eating well lately I do, we both return to the television. It's about 9:30pm and my mother and I gaze at the screen in worry as we watch Beetee begin to put his plan together with the help of Finnick and Johanna, Prim and Peeta helping out where they can. Enobaria and Brutus remain unaware of the plan, but they have their own ideas and are working on a strategy.

As my mother and I try to listen carefully to what the Careers are planning, I hear a commotion outside the door and I roll my eyes, wondering what the Peacekeepers want from us now. I'm surprised when the door slams open, making me jump and Haymitch runs in with a few other men I don't recognise. I jump to my feet.

"What's going on?" I demand to know but Haymitch simply shakes his head at me.

"The time for questions is later, Sweetheart." He tells me "Let's go!"

He takes my hand and with one last glace at my sisters young face on the television, I grab my mother's hand and we run. There are peacekeepers outside the door. Unconscious or dead, I don't stop to check. As we were on the top floor it takes us only one flight of stairs to get to the roof and into a waiting hovercraft. The doors close behind us and I hear the hovercraft lift off as I sit down and buckle myself in. My mother follows suit.

I turn to ask Haymitch what's going on but I freeze when I see a familiar face on board.

"What are you doing here?" I ask venomously. The man is Plutarch Heavensbee, head gamemaker. He raises his hands in mock submission as I glare at him. This is the man responsible for controlling the arena.

"Now hold your horses." Haymitch tells me, patting my knee. "He's on our side."

I gaze at him in surprise, not fully convinced until Heavensbee throws something at me. I catch it quickly. It's the watch he showed me last time we met, with the image of the mockingjay engraved onto the front.

I glance up at him.

"What does this mean?" I ask and he leans forward, grinning. Clearly he's enjoying himself.

"It's the symbol of the rebellion." He tells me and between him and Haymitch, they tell me the story.

Ever since the Quell was announced there had been a plan to get the tributes out of the arena. Several of the different tributes had different degrees of knowledge. Beetee for example, was in charge of blowing a hole in the force field.

"How would he do that?" I ask and Haymitch reminds me of how Beetee won his own games – electrocution. Beetee's plan was to use the wire he found – place deliberately by Plutarch – to blow a hole in the force field. The bread the tributes had been receiving was code towards the day – with the district the bread was from indicating the day, and the number of rolls indicating the hour. Day three, hour 24. The hovercraft we were currently in was from District 13 – Bonnie and Twill were right! – and there is currently a hovercraft en route to save the tributes from the arena. My mother and I breath a sigh of relief. Soon I'll see Prim and Peeta again, and I won't have to choose between them any longer. Then we'll be in District 13 and free from the Hunger Games. For now anyway, but I refuse to think about the future. Lets just enjoy this little piece of happiness for now.

"Why didn't Peeta or I know?" I ask them.

"Because as soon as the arena blows, you two would be the first ones the Capitol would try to capture." Haymitch tells me. I feel the blood drain from my face and I hope the plan succeeds.

The journey is long and when we eventually stop we're not in District 13. I'm not entirely sure where we are, but we're not due to be here long. We're only moving onto a larger hovercraft. As the new hovercraft takes off, Haymitch takes me and mother to one side.

"Listen to me." He tells me, his voice urgent. "You have to keep calm. The people we saved from the arena are already on board."

I start to grin but then pause, realising that there's more.

"We didn't save everyone." Haymitch tells me and I feel my legs start to wobble. Where's Prim and Peeta?

"I don't know who we didn't collect." He continues "Just that we don't have everyone. We're going to go find out now. Are you okay?" He asks me.

I want to shake my head. No I'm not okay. Not even in the slightest. He's just told me Prim or Peeta might not be here, might be dead, might be in the Capitol – I don't know. But I know if I say no it'll be longer before I can find out, so I take a deep breath and nod. Haymitch gazes at me as if to say 'You're not fooling anybody sweetheart' but he nods and leads me and my silent mother to the infirmary.

There are several beds laid out, some occupied, some aren't. Beetee is on the first bed and I'm so happy to see him, but I don't stop. Finnick lies on the second bed. He doesn't seem terribly injured, but he's mumbling incoherently about an 'Annie'. Annie again? I wonder who she is.

On the third bed lies Peeta.

"Peeta!" I cry out, running to his bed and taking his hand. He mumbles something and then his eyes open and fix on me immediately.

"Don't cry." He mumbles and I'm surprised to find then tears are rolling down my face. I don't bother wiping them away, I'm just so happy.

"Are you okay?" I ask him and he nods. He doesn't look like he's in pain, and I'm thankful for that. Gazing around I see my mother standing at the foot of the bed gazing around, her face pale.

"Prim?" She asks Haymitch, who looks at her impassively and then shakes his head.

"What?" I ask, leaving Peeta and walking over to my past mentor. "Where is she? Where's my sister?"

Haymitch looks at me in the eye for a second before he breaks, and looks down. My mother stands behind me, white as a sheet, shaking her head and mumbling 'no' over and over again under her breath. I look around wildly for someone who can give me answers and I see Peeta gazing at me, his expression ashamed.

"Peeta." I turn to him, my eyes wide and scared. "Peeta, where is Prim?" He doesn't say anything and it's infuriating.

"Peeta Mellark, you tell me where my daughter is right now!" My mother shouts demandingly, shocking everyone into silence. Peeta gazes at my mother in shock and then his expression turns to defeat as he gazes at me.

"We were going to electrocute the Careers." He says, his voice croaking "The plan was all going well and then they attacked us. It was almost midnight and Brutus knocked Beetee out. Finnick was shouting that he hadn't finished and we had to do something but I didn't understand. Johanna had gone to put the other end of the wire on the beach with...with Prim. The wire suddenly went slack and I realise it had been cut. I ran down towards the beach but there was no sign of either of them, so I went back up. Brutus was on the floor, unconscious. Johanna and Enobaria were fighting nearby and Finnick was standing, holding his trident. The wire was wrapped around the tree and attached to the end of it. And underneath the tree was Prim. She was soaking wet, she looked scared. I called her and she saw me and started to walk forward. That's when Finnick threw his trident into the force field, just as the thunder hit the tree. There was a bright light and it swallowed everyone. It swallowed Prim." He tells me but I can't believe any of it. My mother falls to the floor in a dead faint. Haymich calls the medical team and they rush over. Everything else seems to be happening in slow motion as Peeta gazes at me through tear filled eyes, his hand squeezing mine.

"I'm so sorry Katniss." He croaks "I'm so sorry. Prim is dead."

_**The End**_

_**To Be Continued in Part 2: How To Save a Mockingjay**_

**A/N**

**Hi! So...it's over! Please don't kill me! I know a lot of you said you'd pretty much hate me if I killed off Prim and while I can't reveal the plot for How to Save a Mockingay (hope you like the name by the way), I can tell you that there will definitely be a big twist there so keep reading!**

**I'm sorry for the shortness of the chapter, When I planned it I genuinely thought it would be longer but it didn't really turn out that way :S although it's a short chapter and not much is happening from Katniss's point of view, a lot actually happened. This chapter didn't turn out as I hoped, so I hope you all liked it. Let me know what you think?**

**So this is Chapter 24, the last chapter of the story I've been writing since April 2012. It's been a fun time guys and I hope you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I've loved writing it.**

**Review and I'll let you all know as soon as Chapter 1 of How to Save a Mockingjay is written :)**

**Thank you everyone who read and reviewed**

**CaffinH**


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